What I Need---by Suzanne Hancock

When I was an 18-year-old college freshman, I had a plan for how my life was going to go. I would get my education degree and become a teacher. I would either meet my husband during the four years I attended ASU, or I would meet him soon after. We would get married, and we would start our family. I would be able to teach and have children because teaching is one of the more family-friendly career choices. This was my plan. It was a great plan.

But it was MY plan.

Fast-forward 15 years ... I had my degree, and I had been teaching English for 12 years. Part of my life's agenda had come to pass. However, I was without a husband, without kids, and without many prospects for these dreams to come to pass, as I had moved back to my hometown of St. Johns, where single men do not generally settle in droves. I was the spinster, the third wheel, the one well-meaning people tried to set up with the single man they knew. So I devised a new plan.

I would teach during the school year, my mom and I would travel together in the summers, and we would have many, many cats. I liked this new direction for my life. I was happy with it, truly.

Once again, it was MY plan.

Two years later, I met Paul. A mutual friend set us up, and I agreed with it only to get another well-meaning person off my back. Cats! Travel! I didn't need nor want a stinkin' man to mess with my life at that point.

Paul and I were sealed together for eternity in the Snowflake Temple in November of 2006. After two more years of teaching, I left my career to become a stay-at-home mom to our son, Cael. Bye Mom. Farewell feline companions. Adios travel. A new chapter in my life had begun, only it started a lot later than I had expected, than I had wanted.

This was HIS plan.

In Proverbs 3, verses 5 and 6, we read, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

Hindsight is always so clear, isn't it? My Heavenly Father knew what direction my life would take. He knew that Paul and I would meet when the time was right for both of us. He knew that Cael would be our son, and that we would be parents when we were ready for that. It didn't matter that our friends were all already married, that their kids would be able to babysit ours, that most people had given up on either of us ever finding a spouse-- too old, too little options, too set in our ways.

God's plan was what mattered. It is what matters.

"All I ever wanted
All I ever dreamed of
Everything I hoped
And all the things I prayed for
Couldn't hold a candle
To what I've been given
I've been given what I need."
(What I Need lyrics by Michael McLean)

When I think back to my 18-year-old self, I marvel at how different my 42-year-old self is, as it should be. I no longer rely on MY plans, but on my Heavenly Father's plans, not on what I think is best for me, but on what He knows is best for me. I may not understand why things happen as they do, from broken hearts to losing loved ones to job promotions that didn't happen, but I do understand that there is a grander plan in place. A plan that may have nothing to do with what I think is best or what I want to happen.

It is when I am hugging my husband in the kitchen after he is home from work, and my son runs in exclaiming, "Hey! I want some of that!" jumping in between us for a family hug, that I know I have been given more blessings than I can possibly count. MY dreams, MY hopes, MY plans. They pale in comparison to what I actually have.

I've been given what I need.

See that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently---by President Ed Burgoyne

It was the summer of 1991, Eileen and I had just accepted a teaching position at Sanders Middle School. We stopped in St. Johns to look for a place to live and were sitting in our hotel room when we heard a knock at our door. We were surprised because we didn't know a soul in St. Johns. Who could it be? I opened the door and there stood a nice looking couple. They identified themselves as Ted and Julie Raban. They said they had heard we might be moving to St. Johns and wanted to welcome us to town and offered their assistance with anything we might need. We visited for awhile and then said our goodbyes. After they left, Eileen and I talked about how amazing it was to have someone come to our hotel room and make us feel so welcome our first night in St. Johns.  

We have now been in St. Johns going on 24 years, and we call St. Johns home. We love our community and the good people who live here. We have always been treated with kindness and love.

One of my favorite passages in the New Testament is found in John Chapter 13. This is the chapter where Jesus washes the feet of his disciples and then teaches some very important doctrine. In verses 34 and 35 we read:

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

What a great lesson we are taught in those verses. When I read that passage, I think of the Raban's and how kind they were to us that night. But it wasn't just that night; they have always treated us with kindness and love. What great examples they have been to me in my life! There are many more wonderful people in our community who are true disciples of Christ, going about loving and caring for others.

Sometimes, however, we hear stories of people being offended, of rumors being spread or criticism being dished out. When I hear such things, I like to think that we are better than that, or that surely we can be better than that. I know it's not always easy following in Christ's footsteps because I have made mistakes by contributing to talk that wasn't always positive. There is no doubt that we can all try a little harder and be a little better in showing kindness and speaking more kindly.

One of my favorite quotes is: "I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I speak? I will laud my enemies and they will become friends; I will encourage my friends and they will become brothers.  Always will I dig for reasons to applaud; never will I scratch for excuses to gossip. When I am tempted to criticize I will bite my tongue; when I am moved to praise I will shout from the roofs.”

I need to share one last scripture. It is found in I Peter chapter 1:22, and it is where I found the title for this message. It reads: "See that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently."

Just think what St. Johns would be like if we all lived by this advice. We're a wonderful town now, but we can be, and should be, a town that is truly amazing, amazing because of how we love and treat each other. The town that loves with a pure heart, fervently.

Family---by Marian Isaacson

I, Marian, having been born of goodly parents therefore I was taught….. Just not in St. Johns, AZ. Clair Riley Cutler married Merlene “Mickey” Gilbert in the Salt Lake Temple and started a family of four children of which I am the second born and oldest daughter.  I was born during the educational period of my father so as a wee babe I lived in Salt Lake City, Chicago, and Phoenix before finally settling in Preston, Idaho, the hometown of both of my parents, for the eight years of my primary education. What a gift it was to live in this small town in southeastern Idaho, not because of the beauty of Cache Valley or greatness of the state of Idaho but because our move there brought me to the belly of both the Cutler and the Gilbert families. My families. Goodly families.  Therefore I was taught.

The Cutlers, Orvid and Lavinia, lived just around the corner from our first house in Preston, right next to the Preston Hospital where both Grandpa Cutler and Dad spent much time as they were 2 of the 4 town doctors. The Gilberts, Hazen and Naomi, lived 5 miles south in the farming community of Fairview, where Grandpa Gilbert’s father and several brothers settled straight from England, scarcely making a living as a dry/dairy farmer.  This was dichotomy I didn’t understand until adulthood but what a wonderful gift to love and be loved by both country folk and “city slickers” (I know Preston isn’t a city but….). Grandpa Cutler would take me to see the babies in the hospital nursery, for the ride when he went to visit a sick person in their home and for walks around the block talking, teasing and singing always a part of these activities. Grandpa Gilbert loved the “help” of grandkids moving sprinkler pipes in the alfalfa, trying to get me to let the baby calves to suck on my fingers which I never did (Grandpa had lost several finger tips to farming accidents but I thought…) and telling the story of how he lost his hair (some unnamed grandchild got a comb tangled in what were beautiful locks prior to the incident). Grandma Cutler took me for rides to places so we could just sit for a while and enjoy the “view”, had our family over for dinners on china plates in a formal dining room and rolled down the hill of the Logan Temple with me. Grandma Gilbert gave me my first Book of Mormon one Christmas, let me help make the Sloppy Joes when more family was coming for dinner, and made me help dry dishes in a kitchen already filled with women (that era’s version on Facebooking or blogging). Family.

Living in the “belly” of the family had drawbacks if you were the adult being asked, “Are they here yet?” over and over when cousins were coming for a visit.  Mom would say, “Don’t call Grandma again! She’ll call when they get here.”  But I did anyway.  When I finally made contact with the visitors life was wonderful until Mom said it was time to go.  Peace could be restored if a cousin or two went home with us. Mom had 6 sisters and a brother all having no less than four children and rarely did just one family show up so on the farm chaos reigned in the tiny little farmhouse when the cousins came.  Dad had a sister and a brother both with 2 children so things were a little more “controllable” with the “city” side. Okay, I remember being taught to play Mahjong, checkers and shuffle board which never happen in Fairview. Dad’s family came to visit a couple of times a year but Mom’s sisters gathered with the ripening of different crops and we did “help” amidst the play.  I was cussed, shooed, cajoled, lectured and barely tolerated I’m sure but all I remember is that I was beloved. Family.

I say all this to perhaps help all the tired households that have been filled to the brimming of late to look forward to the next holiday, school break or 24^thcelebration excited about the lives we will impact just gathering as families. Goodly families.  Therefore we will teach.  We will love.  Family.

9 Ways Growing Up in SJ Prepares You For Life---by Brandon Crosby

Recently I read an article about how growing up in a small town prepares you for life in ten ways.  I’d like to share a couple of these ideas with you along with a personal experience of my own growing up in my hometown.

1.       You learned to be an individual.  A friend of mine once told me that it’s hard to be your own man living where you grew up, in SJ.  While you may be known as so and so’s kid or brother or relative, it doesn’t take long for folks in a small town to figure out who exactly you are.  You have to take ownership early on of who you are and what you stand for, and I have found that the confidence gained from that has made lots of people from SJ tremendously successful both here and throughout the world.  This was well stated in Carol Ashton’s recent submission on this blog.

2.      You become extremely well rounded.  There are not many places where the Homecoming King plays in the band and is captain of the football team, as has happened many times in SJ.  Although not as common as it once was, unfortunately, there was a time when the band or choir involved almost all kids in the school.  It still remains that most kids are involved in many different activities in our school that boasts a proud tradition of excellence in ACADEC, Athletics, Student Government, Talent Shows, Volunteer Organizations, and Community Involvement.  This makes for a well-rounded future college student, mom, wife, husband, father, employee, employer, civic leader, and on and on.  I personally have never had a problem finding a job to support my family because of the many different things I can do and learned from my dad and other good men in our community.  The examples of strong work ethic are many amongst the men I admired as I grew up here and continues with many of our community members today.

3.      You gained an appreciation for tradition.   Who can argue that tradition plays a huge role in St. Johns and is a big part of our strength?   There are many traditions that I look forward to throughout the year.  I appreciate the hard work and sacrifice that many good people make year after year to carry on traditions that help us remember who we are, who we appreciate, and what we value.  These past few years I have attended our Memorial Day program held at the St. Johns Cemetery.  I regret that I have not attended before but am grateful to those who provide the program and honor those service people past and current for their service to our Country.  I love the Pioneer Days celebration and all that it entails.  I love that we have added to the many events and make an effort to include all in our community, not just the LDS people.  The 4^th of July Celebration, the Living Christmas Tree Programs, the Apache County Fair, and yearly treks to the valley for playoff games or matches are great traditions that many enjoy.   Thanks to those who put so much time into continuing those proud traditions.  I love that our football crowds in the valley always outnumber the other side.

4.     You learned very early about the consequences of making wrong choices.   Accountability is sure something our country could use a bit more of these days.  You get that in SJ.  While some young folks absolutely hate this part of a small town, it has no doubt kept many out of serious trouble.  When I was attending SJMS, my Uncle Ken was the principal.  As an 8^th grader I made the mistake of being present when wrongdoing was happening.  You might think that the nephew of the Principal might get some leniency, as I was really only a bystander, but that notion was squashed when I received the same five swats as the other offenders.  In fact, the paddle broke on the 3^rd swat and Uncle Ken finished the others with Mr. Harvey’s paddle.  My parents were definitely in support of this, and I felt worse about disappointing Uncle Ken than the punishment meted out.  I hope that our parents today still support their kids being disciplined when they need it.

5.      You grew to understand the true definition of Loyalty.  The NBA  playoffs held nothing over the ‘Skins in the playoffs when Verl Heap was our Coach.  I never missed a game as a kid, and I was a wrestler!  The old gym downtown was the place to be when there was a home game, and it was exciting.  The same went for football games, and, while we have had success in the past, nothing has compared to Coach Morgan’s and Garcia’s run for the past twenty years.  Numerous state title game appearances have the faithful expecting to travel in November.   It is awesome to see how many people come to the games in the Valley where we always out number our opponents fans.  When you are raised with Red and White it’s hard to see any other colors as being good looking on a uniform and that loyalty is rare.  I am proud to say there have been quite a few kids in red and white singlets win state titles for the ‘Skins on the mat over the years as well.

6.     You established deep and lasting friendships.  Many of the kids in your kindergarten pics are also in your high school graduation pics.  I have personally not seen some of my classmates for many years, but when I run into them we pick up our friendship where it left off and the bond between St. Johners is undeniable.

7.     You absorbed the ability to find joy in the little things in life.  Small towns naturally give you an appreciation for simple things.  Seeing your name or picture in the paper, a new restaurant opening, your friend’s new car (that is usually older), or, even better , a cool exhaust system were reasons to smile and laugh.   Hearing about fun family reunions, improvements to the fairgrounds or ballfields are all reasons to smile and enjoy life in a small town.  A few of the simple things that I enjoy here are the change of the seasons, seeing old friends run into one another, hard work rewarded to those who put forth  the effort whether in their small business, their sports teams or in personal ventures.  I also love to see family reunion shirts and see the many family members that come back to enjoy them.

8.     You always understood the importance of family and still do.  To most people in our small town, family is very important.  Family support at events and contests is not only common but expected.  Everyone knows  your parents and your siblings, and you are constantly connected to them. Though many of us move somewhere else after our SJ days, the depth of your love for your family never wavers.  Growing up surrounded by other families and by your own is incredibly beneficial to you later in life. The good, the bad, the laughter, and the tears, all contribute to the adult that you become and the family that you may one day build, and most want to bring their families back to SJ to share with them the things that they enjoyed here.  I also love that there are many here in SJ who are readily adopted into a friend's or acquaintance's family and hold to that for the rest of their lives.

9.    You always have a place to truly call home.   I would like to believe that everyone from SJ is proud to call it their hometown.  I know that I sure am but also realize that a story my dad told me more than once growing up applies here.  Here’s the story.,.  A man stopped at a gas station in a small town one day to fuel his car.  While at the pump he struck up a conversation with another patron gassing up his car.  “Are you a local here?” he inquired.  “Yep, unfortunately” was the reply.   The other man continued to state all that was wrong with this town from the people, its smallness, lack of opportunity and on and on.  Eventually he finished gassing up and left.  Another man pulled up and started to fuel his car in place of the previous man.  The visitor decided to ask the new guy the same question to see if he was of the same sour opinion of this little town.  The reply was quite different.  “Our town is awesome.  I love the people here and how everyone knows one another and is involved in the community.  I love the small town feeling and how people get behind our sports teams and volunteer organizations.  You really should look at locating here if you want quality of life,” was the reply.    My Dad’s point of course was that there is good when you look for it and this goes hand in hand with a favorite saying of my Mom’s,  “ Bloom where you are planted.”

I consider myself blessed to have been raised in SJ. I have many friends who come from all walks of life, and I appreciate all that they add to our community.  I also feel very blessed to have been able to work with the youth here for almost twenty years now; they are an inspiration to me.    My family, both immediate and extended, is a blessing to me, and I thank Heavenly Father for them. 

Spreading Light and Cheer

In the last post, Carol Ashton wrote about the far-reaching influence of St. Johns' individuals. Shortly after publishing her post, I read this email about one of our very own SJ boys. To me, it exemplifies our youth and the type of people we send out for the rest of the world to enjoy. I have omitted the names because I believe this could be written about numerous people who are representing our small town in amazing and wonderful ways.

My little family had the privilege of meeting and falling in love with your son while serving his mission in our area. I just had to write you a note and thank you for raising such a remarkable boy!

I cannot begin to express the love and gratitude my family has for your sweet son. He has such an incredible spirit about him. His warm, kind, cheerful disposition has been such a tool in softening hearts and opening doors! He truly represents the Savior, for he is just oozing of charity!

When your son was first transferred into our area, we had the elders for dinner, which we try to do at least weekly. Immediately I felt a connection with him, just knew there was something special about him. The Spirit was strong as the two elders taught us and interacted with our small children that night. After they left, my husband turned to me and said, "I feel so drawn to that missionary...I feel a strong connection with him for some reason." I was shocked he had the same experience I did. We have been around many missionaries. We both served missions and taught at the MTC after our missions. Combined we have probably gotten to teach and serve with a few hundred missionaries. Your son is one of the most special to us!

We had the opportunity of having your son in our home many times, teaching us, eating with us, teaching our neighbors and friends (though none accepted the invitation to accept the missionary lessons :(...) and even had them in our neighborhood when they were snowed in. We had so much fun with them building an igloo on our front lawn. :) And they did miracles in our neighborhood that day, shoveling everyone's walks and driveways, helping our neighbors move in, and spreading light and cheer! :)

Your son is obedient, compassionate, sensitive to the Spirit, and has a special gift in which he can love and connect with people of all ages and circumstances in life. Of course you already know this about him. :) While in our home, he always tried to race us to the kitchen sink and do our dishes. :) My kids absolutely adored every second with him, especially our 2-year-old Annie, who has a crush on him still! :) And he helped my husband and I have greater desires to serve and share the gospel!

You can be very pleased with your son; he is truly a faithful, diligent, incredible missionary! We love him so much. :)