Countdown to Christlike Resolutions by Suzanne Hancock

10! Lepers were healed by Jesus; nine did not thank Him. BE THE ONE WHO IS GRATEFUL.

9! He left the ninety and nine when one sheep was missing. BE THE ONE WHO RESCUES OTHERS.

8! Days after His resurrection, Thomas had to see and feel to believe in the risen Christ. BE THE ONE WHO DOES NOT DOUBT.

7! Times seventy is the number the Lord gave for us to forgive others. BE THE ONE WHO FORGIVES WITHOUT EVEN COUNTING.

6! Days for God to create the world, one to rest. BE THE ONE WHO KEEPS HIS DAY HOLY.

5! Loaves and two fishes fed the multitude. BE THE ONE WHO NOURISHES OTHERS.

4! Quarters of the earth for Israel's gathering. BE THE ONE WHO IS READY FOR HIS COMING.

3! Days that Mary and Joseph looked for twelve-year-old Jesus. BE THE ONE WHO IS ABOUT OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN'S BUSINESS.

2! Great commandments. BE THE ONE WHO LOVES GOD AND LOVES HIS CHILDREN.

1! Every one that asketh receiveth. BE THE ONE WHO PRAYS.

Gaining Light by Eileen Burgoyne

As we celebrate this glorious season of Christmas, we find many “symbols” that remind us of the true meaning of the season.  Candy canes, evergreen trees, stars, wreaths, bells, the holly and berries, and even the gifts we give each other.  All play a part in this magical time of year that is Christmas.  I think my favorite symbol of all, though, are the lights.  Beautiful colored lights are everywhere, casting their radiant glow on our homes, Christmas trees, and towns.  The lights, of course, are in remembrance of our Savior, the “Light of the World,” Jesus Christ.  

When our children were little, we loved bundling them up in their pajamas and blankets and piling into the car to go on a little tour of the St. Johns’ town lights.  Some of the best light displays were in our very own downtown neighborhood.  Dale and Ruth Davis’ house was especially amazing every year, and the “Hansen Mansion” (as my kids called it), with its lollipop decorations, was also a favorite, as well as the court house.  Down the street was Bev and Larry Heap’s house, complete with Santa and his sleigh on the front lawn.  All of the houses on that street were well lit, as well as many across town, and we would continue our tour, driving up and down the streets of our little town.  We would ooh and aah and sing Christmas carols on the way and then come home and warm up with hot cocoa.

When I was a little girl, we would do the same type of Christmas “light tour” in the small town where I grew up, but many of my cherished Christmas memories centered on being in my grandparents’ home.  Cousins would come from far and near at this time of year, and there was always lots of good food and fun and singing around the piano and telling stories.  I loved being in my grandparents’ home, and I loved their Christmas trees, for they were always decorated with those old fashioned “bubble lights” which provided small children endless wonderment.  I still remember those lights fondly and with great feelings of nostalgia. How fun it was to sit in their cozy family room with the lights dimmed and watch the bubble lights on the tree do their thing, while listening to stories of Christmases long ago, and hear the laughter and music and feel the love surrounding me. I knew even at that young age, that the gospel of Jesus Christ was the source of our joy and happiness and that He was indeed the Light of the World.  

In recent years, I have become intrigued with the concept of gaining light and knowledge, and how we must all gain as much light in this world as we can, so that we can share it and bring others to the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 A couple of years ago, around this time of year, my sister invited me to a Mesa, AZ Temple fireside where she was accompanying the choir on her flute. I was thrilled to be in town and to be able to attend the fireside.  The music was beautiful, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, but the highlight of the evening for me ended up being the speaker, Elder Larry R. Lawrence and the talk he gave on “Light” and more specifically “Accumulating Light”.  He emphasized the importance of gaining light in our lives and gave 5 specific ways to do so.  I will briefly summarize them, but if interested, you can find the complete talk in the March 2016 Ensign under the title “The Light of the Perfect Day”.  Here are his ideas:

1. Learn to love.  Love God and others. Develop charity; serve more, love more.  It’s why missionaries glow—full time service is rewarded with great spiritual light.
2. Invest in scripture study.  If you want to grow spiritually you have to feed your spirit by feasting on the word of God.  Take time to memorize important scriptures.  Elder Richard G. Scott said that “scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds.  Memorized scriptures become a gift you give yourself—a gift that keeps on giving more and more light.”
3. Go and Do…Obey the commandments, and as you discover truth and apply it, you will gain more light.  
4. Hearken to the Holy Ghost.  This is one way President Monson has gained so much light.  He has learned to follow the impressions that have come to him.  “Every one that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit cometh unto God” (D&C 84:47).
5. Serve in the Temple.  Elder Lawrence says there is so much light and truth to be gained from temple service that the temple may be referred to as the University of the Lord.  Consider yourself blessed if you are able to bask in this heavenly light on a regular basis.  

What a great time of year to reflect on the Light of the World, our Savior Jesus Christ, and to learn of Him and His gospel.  By doing so we will be more fully prepared to serve and bring others to the great truths found in His gospel and be able to lead others to the happiness found therein.

Gifts of Love Keep on Giving by Karen Boyle

During a recent phone call with my aunt, I was reminded of long ago days. My Aunt Eleanor and her husband were the reason I arrived in Arizona more than forty-two years ago. I tagged along with friends for a two-week vacation from the blustery winter cold of Northwestern Ohio. That vacation hasn't ended. Aunt Eleanor relocated to Alabama several years later after she and Uncle Art retired. They had a good life and enjoyed fishing and other recreational activities with friends in the area. A few years ago, Uncle Art died, leaving my aunt alone with no family in the immediate area. No family within nearby states even. Loneliness was evident in her voice as we visited together over the phone.

During the course of the call, the upcoming Christmas season became a topic of conversation. She asked if I remembered the 'puffy reindeer and sleigh set' I had made her. Of course I did. It was a set of ceramic figurines that I had made and given her. When I first relocated from the Phoenix metro area to St. Johns, the only people I knew were Jack and Ivy Anderson. Ivy taught school and Jack worked at CGS, where I was also working. It was a terribly lonely existence. After work and on days off, I would stop and visit Lillian Pulsipher at her ceramic shop. I enjoyed visiting with her and others who would stop into the shop while I was working with my hands to create gifts for others. I was reminded of such gifts as I talked on the phone. 

Sadly, my aunt has lost many of the items special to her due to tragedies beyond her control. As we talked and she reflected on the little puffy reindeer and sleigh set, she suddenly exclaimed that her small ceramic scene of Christ at Gethsemane that I had made for her also survived. The joy she felt could be heard in her voice. As her loneliness subsided during our call, I could sense my own joy increasing. The time I had spent, so many years ago, easing my own loneliness was now a source of comfort to someone else, someone so special, someone lonely. I can imagine it is the same comfort felt when admiring a painting, a quilt, a pillow, or other gift created by a loved one.

I am grateful for the thorns of my own loneliness. I am grateful for the Christmas season when we can celebrate the birth of our Savior and reflect on all He has done for each of us. We can grow and learn from His example and serve one another. We can find joy when we strive to ease the loneliness of others.

My Grown-up Christmas Wish by Shelly Finch

Recently, the Church introduced a campaign this Christmas season to help us serve others just as the Savior did. It’s titled, “Light the World.” It challenges us to serve those around us in 25 days, in 25 ways. The Savior is the only true example of love and service. He healed the sick, prayed for and ministered to the children, visited the lonely, fed the hungry, clothed the naked, showed compassion, and forgave others.  These are just a few of the selfless things He did. 

This Christmas season, I personally have accepted the “Light the World” challenge to serve those around me for the next 25 days, but I don’t want it to stop there. I want it to continue!  I want the spirit of Christmas to last all year long. I want to be a small light in this dark world. As we turn on our Christmas tree lights or the lights on our houses, I want to be a light to those around me. I want them to see the pure love of Christ when they see me.

As a child, I remember sitting down and looking at the tree and wishing that the things I sent to Santa on my list would be there Christmas morning.  This year, I sit in front of my Christmas tree with a wishful heart of a more grown up Christmas. I am asking for each of us to look outside of ourselves for a moment, put our phones down, and enjoy time with our families.  Smile and say hello to a stranger on the street; look at people the way Christ does; take a break from social media; wake up each day with a thankful heart.  One day’s challenge states, “Jesus lifted others burdens, so can you.”  I am truly humbled to take part in this challenge. I love my Savior. I want to be more like Him, not only this holiday season, but every day.  I hope to become closer to Him as I learn more about how He lived and taught.  I hope you will accept the “Light the World” challenge and spread your light to all of those around you and make this your grown up Christmas wish. 

Making it to the Eternal End Zone by Suzanne Hancock

In our house, we are avid football fans. Therefore, these past few days have been heaven for us, with NFL, college, and even high school football games being broadcast on various channels. In spite of all three of my favorite teams suffering losses, I still have enjoyed many games because of their competitiveness and entertainment value. My husband will attest to my fanatic nature during football season. I yell at my TV, shake my head in despair, and have even been known to retreat to my bedroom and lock the door during a down-to-the-wire nail biter.

Because of my crazy love of football, not to mention my referee eternal companion, I have acquired some basic knowledge of the game. I find myself shouting three phrases in particular at the rectangular device in my living room.

“CATCH THE BALL, AND THEN RUN!”

“WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TACKLE HIM?!”

“HOLD ON TO THE BALL, PETEY!”

In contemplating life lessons in relation to football (so as to make my watching it more productive), I have found that I could just as easily shout those things to myself at times.

When I see a receiver move to advance the ball prior to actually catching it, I want to pull out my hair. It is like chewing your food before it is actually in your mouth. Yet, how often do I figuratively do this? It might be when I try to do things my own way and in my own time, without waiting for the Lord to give me His will for my life. It might be when I try to understand a Gospel principle without practicing it, perhaps even forming my own conclusions as to why it may not be that important to follow. It might be when I try to move too far too fast, without patiently adhering to the counsel of “line upon line, precept upon precept” that has been promised to us as we are spiritually prepared to obtain further light and truth.

When the team for which I am cheering is playing defense, I almost dive into the television in order to help them take down the opposing players. The basic wrap-them-up technique is often under-practiced and under-used, as my team misses tackle after tackle while I watch in utter dismay. I liken this to our own opposition: Satan, worldly desires, the natural man. While Satan wishes to advance his score in our lives, we would like to take him down to the turf, sack him, intercept his passes, and whatever else we can do to keep him from our lives. However, often I will let him gain a few yards in my life. Throw a deep pass of doubt into my mind. Score a touchdown of despair in my heart.

Probably my favorite thing to holler is inspired by one of my favorite movies. In Remember the Titans, during a practice, Coach Boone punishes a player who keeps fumbling the ball. He asks him, “Why are you fumbling my football?” Petey blames his blockers, to which the coach tells him that his blockers have nothing to do with him fumbling the football because they didn’t lose the football; he did. Coach Boone then tells him to go run one mile, and, as Petey heads to do so, tells him, “You’re killing me, Petey! You’re killing me!” 

Thus, when I call someone Petey during a football game, this is what I am referencing. Players will hold the ball out in front of them, inviting a defender to take it away. They will loosely hold it as though it holds no significance. They let it slip out of their hands out of carelessness. Granted, they also may lose it to an excellent defender who knocks it skillfully out of their grasp, or they may get hit so hard that the ball is knocked loose. These are understandable. Do I ever take my spirituality for granted, not truly holding on with all my might? Do I sometimes waiver in my testimony because of a world that has me having to defend my every belief? Do I occasionally neglect prayers, scripture study, or meeting attendance, allowing my relationships with my Father in Heaven and my Savior to deteriorate? If we truly hold on to that ball with all our hearts and all our strength, even the most skilled defender to our everlasting happiness won’t be able to stop us from reaching that end zone, where we will be rewarded with eternal joy and love.

It is my hope that we will all be able to catch the ball and then run, as we trust in the Lord’s timing; that we will tackle Satan’s attempts before they have a chance to move too far into our souls; that we will have the heart and discipline that Petey eventually displayed and hold fast to our testimonies and to the Gospel principles that guide us towards the light of our loving Father above and His son, our Redeemer.

For that is the victory that truly matters.

Grateful by The Wiltbanks

Today is the Sunday before Thanksgiving and we have much to be grateful for.  The last few weeks have been full of politics.  So tonight I am grateful to be living in a land of freedom.  The pilgrims came to the Americas for relief from religious persecution, to gain freedom to practice religion.  We have witnessed the freedoms that these original pilgrims fought for, with having the opportunity to vote for the people who would best fight for our beliefs.  I am grateful to have the freedom of religion to be able to go to church and not be persecuted. I am grateful for the leaders of our nation, I am grateful for our local leaders.   I am grateful to live in St. Johns, I am grateful for the good examples that my children see in the people in St. Johns.  I am grateful to have a testimony of our Savior. –Wendy Wiltbank

I am grateful to live in such a unique small town where there is such a strong sense of community.  We moved her two years ago this month and it feels like we have lived here all our lives.  Thank you, St. Johns for being our friends.  I am grateful for how accepting the people have been towards my children.  I am thankful to be living in a country where I am able to choose how and what I believe.  Where I can express my opinion, discuss and debate those beliefs with others.   I am grateful for a wonderful and amazing wife.  I am grateful for 4 kids that strive to be successful in all they do.   I am most grateful for a Lord and Savior that accepts me even with my short comings and weaknesses and allows me to start each day with the desire to come closer to him.  –Carl Wiltbank   

Today I am grateful to live in St. Johns, when we first moved here I did not like being here. Over a short period of time I grew to love this small town. I have gained life-long friends and I have learned valuable life lessons that I will carry throughout the rest of my life. I can’t express how much I love to live in a place with people that are so loving, caring, and all around the best. St. Johns will always be the place I call home and I am proud of it. –Marcus Wiltbank

I am proud to call St. Johns my home. Within days of my moving to St. Johns everyone in town made an effort to befriend me. I have gained so much love and appreciation for this beautiful community. I am grateful for the amazing people who help to teach me valuable lessons on a daily basis to make me a better citizen, and all around person. Thank you to everyone that lives is St. Johns and makes an effort to make it how wonderful it is. –Alyssa Wiltbank

Home Is Where the Heart Is by Cassidy Crockett Wahl

Here we are... in St.Johns, again. A young family, a new job, and a future that is as bright as our faith. To my husband, St. Johns has always been home. He was born and raised here...filled with wonderful life lessons and memories from this town. Now, I was not “born” here, however, when people ask me where I’m from, this is the place I call home. I was raised here. 

I feel overjoyed  to be a mother and have the freedom to raise my children here. I love that my children will learn to wave to EVERY car that we drive by. I’m grateful that they have the gospel surround them here. That through their family, friends, teachers, and coaches they will always have admirable examples. I cherish that they will grow up with neighbors. Neighbors who will answer a ringing phone at 2AM, put their Sunday clothes on, and come to your home to help your dad administer a priesthood blessing to you.  I love that they will learn to work, learn to serve, and learn to love. 

Because of this little town, I have a husband (who I have loved since I was in 6th grade) who loves me... I have my favorite snow cone flavor... I have friendships that will last forever. I have memories that make me laugh and cry. I have goodly parents who got to raise me here. They taught me simple truths and prayed for me. I got to watch them really work, truly serve, and I have seen them love people with a pure love of Christ. I have a testimony of my Savior. All these things have made me. 

It makes my heart full to know that my children will have what I had…and still have…because I was raised here!

They say “home is where the heart is” and this wonderful town has a lot of heart, which is why it is truly our home.

A Letter for Home... written by Miles S. Crosby

Dear St. Johns,

Thank you.  Thank you for 32 years being my home. You have raised my wife, my family, and me, providing not just two parents but dozens. You employed me for nearly a decade and I am grateful for all we’ve been through. We have been through highs and lows, I’ve cried with your losses and cheered with your victories and now I leave you in the caring hands of my fellow officers. All I ask of you is treat them well. Hold them sacred, for they are called to protect you from the evils you never see. You may not like them or the laws they are required to enforce, but there is not one of them that wouldn’t lay down their life for you, for they are your Peacemakers. We are not the Peacemakers because we come and demand peace; we are the Peacemakers because we offer peace.  We give you someone to hate when it’s just too hard to be angry with your loved one who made a poor choice, or even yourself, for we would rather carry the burden for you. We carry your burden long after you have forgotten it.

It is our choices that define us and shape our lives.  I made the choice to become a peace officer in St. Johns in 2008 and it was the best decision I ever made. St. Johns was the choice that defined my life. I met my beautiful wife Jenna and we had our gorgeous daughter Tycie.  St. Johns not only was a choice but a calling. And just like all callings, it's now time to move onto the next calling. It’s my time to leave and I’m taking all I have learned from you. It has been my honor to do so. I am grateful for the life all of you have given me. I am the product of my town and I pray I have served you with honor.

St. Johns, Thank you.

Miles S. Crosby

Shall the Youth of Zion Falter? (compiled by Suzanne Hancock)

I asked a few of our Stake's young women to share a brief testimony with me for this blog. I was amazed by their simple, yet profound, words and their strong faith. With youth such as these in our midst, we have examples of those who are true to the faith. Those who are true with soul, heart, and hand. Those who faithful and true will ever stand.

Kasidee Johnson:

I have a testimony. A testimony of Jesus Christ, a testimony of the scriptures, just a testimony of this gospel that I've learned throughout my life and loved. And always will love. It's incredible how much one scripture verse can change your mood, how one prayer can reassure you of His love. There's nothing that compares to this gospel. Nothing. With this gospel, I am allowed to make choices. Good or bad. And because of Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice for us, I am able to repent of my bad choices. I am able to be with my family forever and ever. I think that that is amazing. Without a doubt, I know that this church is true. I have proof because I have felt the spirit numerous times, within my heart. And no feeling is greater than that spirit. I love this gospel! It is so good. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.  

Bella Otto:

I just really know that the LDS church is so true. Whenever I tell people about it, my heart gets all warm and fuzzy inside. I've had countless experiences where I know that there is a Heavenly Father, and He loves me. I know that I'm never alone because I have been blessed with the Spirit. I love this church!

Kameryn Greer:

I know in my heart this church is true. I believe that God grants us with charity and mercy that we may do His will, and, out of the goodness of His heart, I'll be able to live with Him again. 

Be The Good by Candice Bond

My sister who sells houses down in Phoenix was showing a house one day when she came upon this sign. She sent me the picture, and I had it made for her this year for her birthday. With all of the negativity in the world today, I think that this sign is a perfect reminder for all of us. Here are just a few ways we can “Be The Good” in the world today.

·         Be The Good in our families. This is one that is hard for me on a daily basis. It is so easy to get upset when things don’t go as planned. As a mother of 3 little girls, believe me when I say that 90% of the time, things don’t go as planned. All too often I let my frustrations get the best of me. I have found that as the mother in the home I have the ability to either “make” or “break” the mood in my house. If I am patient and kind, my family tends to react in a similar manner. The same goes for if I am cranky and angry.

·         Be the Good in our Community. We are so lucky and fortunate to live in such a wonderful tight-knit community. I have seen so much “Good” in our community lately. I love how everyone has pulled together to help raise money for the New Covenant Church renovations. Also, just this past weekend, individuals pulled together to search for Ted Raban. He hadn’t been missing for even an hour when there were already 25 + individuals that were out searching for him on foot and in their cars. He was found and returned home safely. Each day as we interact with each other we are presented with opportunities to help each other and be the “Good” in someone’s life. This may be as simple as saying “Hello” or anonymously doing a good deed.   

·         Be the Good in Society. Today we live in a world of negativity. Lately I can’t turn on the news or get on Facebook without reading about all of the horrible things happening in our world right now. Today’s society seems to have a “glass half empty” kind of attitude. There is always the silver lining; we just have to do a little searching to find it. Positivity is contagious. It is hard to be negative when you are around someone who is exhibiting positive thoughts and actions. Everyday we wake up with the freedom to choose our thoughts and actions! A simple thing, such as complimenting a stranger could be all it takes to make someone’s day.

Each day I strive to “Be the Good." I am not perfect, by any means, but I know that if I put forth effort and do the best I can, I will make a difference.  

My Own Miraculous Event by Michelle Johnson

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have always felt I had a testimony of the Gospel. However, as I look back on life, it is as if I had borrowed the testimony from others to build mine. Unfortunately, I found out it was not strong enough to hold me up. The past 10 years, my testimony had been wavering, and, at times, I wondered if the church was true. I began to nit-pick at the testimonies from those I had tried to use to strength mine own. I knew I needed to learn and find out for myself. I began reading the Book of Mormon, and I attended the temple frequently along with my church meetings. It seemed to me that the more I did, the more I felt nothing. I became numb, and I was discouraged. I thought I was doing everything the Lord had asked me to do to receive some witness that the Gospel was true, that this church was the true church. I began to believe that maybe I was not worthy enough or good enough to have this blessing. Throughout my life, I had heard of many members testifying of the miraculous witness I had always wished to receive. Why couldn’t I? I became bitter and hurt. I gave up, not completely, but slowly my desire faded. 

Through those years, I struggled with many things: myself, my family, my friends, and church. I had let my hurt feelings overcome me to the point it was affecting my life. As I stated before, I never gave up completely on my faith, but I became extremely depressed. I lost myself and who I was, and I began to believe everyone around had given up on me also. 

For graduation my mother-in-law gives my children a trip to tour the church history sites. She had asked me if I wanted to go on a youth trip with my daughter, as she had gone the last two times. I told her I would think about it. As the time got closer, I tried to avoid her each time she brought it up. I didn’t really want to go. I didn’t want to be on a bus for 10 days with a bunch of annoying kids and listen to people talk about how wonderful their lives were or to hear their feelings or experiences. My husband finally convinced me to go and take the opportunity to just spend this quality time with our daughter, so that became my focus and general reason for going.

Our first stop was at the Hill Cumorah. We learned many things, and my mind started to become interested in what was being taught. As I listened to our tour guide, you would have thought my heart would have become softened. Instead, my heart was still numb and hardened. I wondered if the Gospel were really true. I had many questions, one in particular that bothered me a lot. Why did Emma not continue with the pioneers all the way to Utah? If she believed in her husband and the Gospel, why did she not carry it out? My doubt in the church began to weary me based on what I felt Emma did. 

We started our tour in the state of New York, and we would end in Kansas City, Missouri. We visited many places and learned so much information. I had expressed my concerns and feelings with the tour guide. He was full of information and answered most of my questions. Some of them he had no answers to, especially when I would ask about Emma and her decision to stay in Nauvoo. As you can see, this really concerned me. I believed a wife of the Prophet, with everything that they had gone through, would have had that belief and strength to stay with the members and follow through with them. 

After the Hill Cumorah, we traveled to the Smith Family Farm. I stood in the room where Moroni visited Joseph Smith. We walked through the Sacred Grove where I took the opportunity to ponder everything that I had been learning and what I had been feeling. I went off the trail where I found a nice place to sit. I took the time to say a prayer and express how I was feeling. I poured out all I had, tears of love, frustrations, desires, concerns, you name it, I let it out. I felt I was in such a sacred place that I would for sure get some type of answer. I sat there for 20 minutes or so after my prayer, silently waiting. I received nothing.  

 

I tried to not get discouraged, and I began to become interested in this journey. I knew I would not have this opportunity again to strengthen my testimony that I had always desired to have for myself and to find out myself if this was the true church. I began to change my attitude towards the trip. I would read and study what the tour guide would ask of us to do before each eventful day. While in Ohio, we were able to tour the Kirtland temple, The John Johnson Homestead, and we also stopped at the Newel K. Whitney store. This is where I can say MY miraculous event was given to me. At the John Johnson home (no relation) is where the mob broke into the home and dragged Joseph Smith out, and beat, tarred, and feathered him. 

I stood in Joseph and Emma’s room, and, as the tour guide and missionaries told the story, I closed my eyes and tried to place myself as if I were there when it was happening. Emma and Joseph had been up all night with the twins, and Joseph had just fallen asleep when the mob came in. They ripped him out of bed and dragged him down the road where others were there waiting for him. I could hear Emma scream. I could sense the fear for her husband. I felt her love for him. I was so overwhelmed with tears that compassion filled my heart. I learned as they brought Joseph back to the home, Emma stayed up all night pulling the feathers and tar off Joseph. Even with everything he had gone through, his body remained healthy enough to preach a sermon that morning. His sermon was on charity, and, along with the members that were there, there were also some of the same mob that attacked Joseph. Three of them were baptized after that meeting. 

As I pondered this event, I thought of Joseph and his love for the Gospel. He knew that what he was doing was true and that the Book of Mormon was true. If it was not true, anyone else being persecuted, tarred, and feathered would have given up. No one would have gone through what he and his family went through to bear false Gospel principles. My testimony began to grow. It was not until I was in the Newel K. Whitney store that I got my confirmation. 

Each night I prayed, I would ask my Heavenly Father to please help me find my own testimony, a confirmation to the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. In the Newel K. Whitney store there was a room they called the School of the Prophets. This is where the Prophet had received multiple revelations. Even the Father and Son had appeared to him. As we gathered in the small room, two sister missionaries began their testimony. Listening to the sisters, I had a warm feeling overcome me. My eyes began to fill with tears. I wasn’t feeling any different from what I had before on the other tours. However, this time my whole body from head to toes was starting to tingle and become numb. I couldn’t move. I had no idea what was going on. I felt like I was the only one in the room. The warm feeling I had started to feel around me, now had encapsulated me. I could feel the spirit so strong. I heard a sweet soft voice whisper in my ear validating the truthfulness I had been waiting all my life for. Hearing those words began a new feeling of life for me. The Lord does answer your prayers. Not on your time, but on his. HE knows the right time. 

After coming down the stairs from the School of Prophets, many other small miracles happened on the rest of the tour. Next door to the Whitney store was a saw mill that was owned by my husband’s Great Great Great Great Grandfather, Joel Hills Johnson. On our Journey to Nauvoo, I learned of my Great Great Grandfather, Edmund Nielson, and stood on the property that he had owned. My husband’s Great Great Great Great Uncle Benjamin F Johnson was the secretary to Joseph Smith. I was encircled by family, and I didn’t even know of their fellowship and service to our prophet Joseph Smith. 

As my journey was coming to an end, one of our last stops was at the Carthage jail. As our tour group stood in the room where Joseph and Hyrum were martyred, everyone had gone but us. The missionaries forgot us up in that room for a few minutes, and our tour guide took that opportunity to role play the event of that day for us. It was the most humbling experience for me to have. The bullet that shot Hyrum still leaves evidence in the door that he held shut as the mob was trying to push their way through. I stood in the window where Joseph Smith tried to escape to save the other two from being killed, but he was shot before and fell to his death. How could one go through all that he did if it wasn’t true? He suffered so much to give me the opportunity to have the Gospel in my life. 

My heart changed towards Emma Smith. I believe Emma loved her husband so much, and she had a love for the Gospel. She went through so many trials in her life that no other woman would have been able to bear a small amount of. I believe after Joseph Smith’s death that Emma could no longer go on. She had lost so much and didn’t want to lose any more. She knew the journey west would be hard, and, not having her husband by her side, she wanted to protect and raise their children in what safety and peace she could. The trip would have brought on more death. She had already endured so much, losing her children and the love of her life. How much more could her heart bear? Her decision to stay in Nauvoo was a difficult one, but she did what she thought was right. Respectfully, I knew the Lord was pleased with her. I grew a love for Emma; she is a hero in my book. 

There is no doubt in my mind of the truthfulness of this Gospel. I was extremely blessed to have had the humbling and confirming experiences on this trip. Even though I had to wait all this time for my own testament, I can say it was well worth the wait. It was the best experience I have ever had. I have my own testimony, and one I can never deny.