Plan of Happiness by Nic Finch

One of my favorite Gospel teachings is that of the Plan of Salvation. I've loved it since I was young. What hope and purpose it gives us in this life. The majority of the world wonders, why am I here, where did I come from, and where will I go when I die? We are so blessed as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to have these answers to these questions.

We lived with our Heavenly Father and our Elder Brother, the Savior Jesus Christ, before we came here to this earth. There was a great council held where all that have ever lived, are living, or yet will live on this earth participated. Two plans were offered to us. The first was by Satan. He said send me down to earth, and I will make everyone choose the right so that not one soul will be lost. In return, Heavenly Father, I want all the glory for myself. The second plan was from our Elder Brother, Jesus Christ, He said I will go down and show them how to return to live with thee, Heavenly Father, and the glory will be thine. Satan, because of his greed to try and make himself greater than our Heavenly Father, was cast out of the Father's presence along with 1/3 of the hosts that were in that great council. They were sent here to earth to never obtain a body. They will never progress.

We all chose the Savior’s plan, but how do we know this? Because we are here with a physical body to do our best and do all that is required while we are here to qualify us to return to live with our Heavenly Father. What are those things that we are required to do in this life? First, baptism by immersion by one who holds the Priesthood Authority; second, the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost; third, we must go to the Temple and receive our Endowments; fourth, we must be sealed in the Temple to our spouse for time and for all eternity; fourth, we must repent daily for the sins we commit; fifth, we must endure with faith to the end. If we do these things, we will have favor in the Lord’s sight, and, through his love and grace, we will be able to live with Him and the Father in the Celestial Kingdom.

Those who choose not to follow this path, do as they please, and live a not so pleasant life, will inherit the lowest kingdom, the Telestial Kingdom. Those who have lived a good life but never found the saving truths, or chose not to accept those savings truths, will inherit the Terrestrial Kingdom. But before we are judged and assigned the degrees of glory or kingdoms in which we earned, there is a place that we go to when we die. That place is known as the Spirit World. The Spirit World is divided in to two places: Spirit Prison and Spirit Paradise. Those who have accepted the Gospel in this life and died are in Paradise and have the great responsibility of doing missionary work and preaching  to those in Spirit Prison. We have a great responsibility here in this life to get saving ordinances done for those who are in Spirit Prison. These ordinances are a physical ordinance and must be done in the flesh. That is why we do Genealogy work. To find our loved ones and get their temple work done for them. That way, if they accept and believe what is being taught to them in the Spirit World, they will have those ordinances done for them and qualify themselves to live with our Father in Heaven in the Celestial Kingdom.

Oh what joy and peace this gives me. I know that these things are true. I know that I will see my loved ones again and that families can be together forever. I know that if I will endure well to the end, I will live with my wife and kids and my Heavenly Father.  How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who provided this Plan of Salvation or Plan of Happiness. He truly loves each and every one of us and knows us by name.

Choosing to Love Myself by Krystin Wahl

I remember one specific Valentine's Day.  It was the year I attended BYU-Hawaii, February 2003.  My friend next door had the same misfortune I did, we both did not have a date for this night of "love".  I remember sitting on the Haleiwa beach together, listening to the sound of crashing waves.   I had my own tub of ice cream in hand..... indulging, or drowning, my thoughts.  I resented all those who had a date for the night and who were even possibly enjoying a goodnight kiss.   Happiness Shmappiness, who needs it anyway?? (especially when you have ice cream).

To this day,  I can vividly recall the feeling of walking back home that night plum full, but empty.  

Something deep inside me knew I was missing a key concept of life. "Men are that they might have joy!", so why was I not allowing myself to experience such an emotion?   It wasn't until many years down the road where I learned a very valuable lesson.

Fast forward more than a decade.

My marriage was struggling.  How could this be?  I had 4 beautiful children, an amazing husband, and financially we were well off.  In fact, Kyle and I had set a goal to be completely financially free by the age of 30 and we accomplished it 3 months prior to our deadline.  From this experience, I can confidently state that money does not buy you joyful relationships, neither can it pay for any of your problems to vanish.  We still struggled.  I still struggled.... and I didn't know the reason, I was just unhappy. 

However,  I knew what would make me happy.  If my children would just LISTEN the first time I asked them to do something, if everyone would keep the house in the order I left it in, and if my husband would just take me on a date once in a while..... then I would be happy.  It was all their fault I was unhappy.  Somehow I felt justified by putting the blame on everyone else.  There was simply no other way for me to be happy; it had been outsourced.

I remember praying one night with the intent to understand why I was feeling so empty. I had a burning desire to have change come into my life.... my marriage, kids, and future were all on the line.  I did not enjoy this depressed feeling I was experiencing and held onto the hope that there was something I was missing.  After all,  I was doing all the things I should be... attending church, reading my scriptures, praying, gratitude journaling.... so why wasn't I whole-heartedly happy!? 

 I prayed long and hard for that answer. It was unveiled to me in such a beautiful way!  God is so good!  There it was, I finally saw it!  This LIE that fueled my unhappiness.  

The beauty in it was that I saw it was something I could fix myself.  What baffled me was that it had very little to do with anyone else.  You see, at my core I had adopted a belief that I was "not good enough".  Not good enough to have a date on Valentines, not a good enough wife, not good enough at sports, not thin enough, not a good enough mother, cook, mentor, sister, singer, friend, visiting teacher, daughter.... the list was lengthy.  With this belief, my brain gathered all the evidence to make it a case-closed deal.  To top it off,  I was triggered by anyone, and anything, who confirmed this distorted belief.  It was their fault, or so I thought.  I saw how this lie was infecting my life, causing the relationships around me to unravel.  What a glorious realization..... the moment my eyes were opened to see that I could smash that belief that was not serving me in a positive way.  I could change!   I could CHOOSE to feel "good enough" and collect all the positive evidence just as I had done with the negative!

I will state here that this new way of thinking was not as easy as I had hoped.  It took time and effort.  But by small and simple things are great things brought to pass, and I can proudly say that I have found my own happiness and joy by changing my thoughts.  I now take full responsibility for my emotions and thoughts and it has made all the difference not just in my inner and outer world, but also in my relationships.    

What thoughts go through your mind all day?  What about at the end of the day?  I was guilty of lying in bed thinking of all the things I did not get done, or the things I failed at, or replaying what I should or should not have said!?  I will just call this way of thinking out like it is.  It's a set up for failure!  The last thought that we should be dozing off with should be HOW AMAZING WE ARE! Gathering positive evidence by counting up all the accomplishments of our day. 

I propose this way of thinking.  One where we fire all the negative thoughts and voices in our head who are not cheering us on.  February is the month of LOVE, and who better to show it to than our own self!?? Try seeing ourselves the way that God does.  God loves us unconditionally.  As we learn from Him how to love, it instills in us that we were "fearfully and wonderfully made", and that we were "bought with a price".  It gives us the powerful peace that lets us know  WE ARE ENOUGH!  Choose to love ourselves, even as God loves us, and by so doing we are choosing to see Him in us.  This allows us more space and room to have better relationships all around. PROFOUND!

So this month, I propose this challenge of 'CHOOSING TO LOVE MYSELF'.  I hope you choose to play!   

1. NO NEGATIVE SELF TALK FOR THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY

(that's like 16 more days)

This means no negative comments, no negative words, or negative jokes about yourself.  Use the heart print to track your efforts.  Put it on the wall in a place where you see it often so it can remind you of this challenge.  Color in a section of the heart for each day you go without negative self-talk.  If you mess up, forgive yourself and commit to try again the next day.  Awareness is key!

2.  REPLACE OLD HABITS WITH POSITIVE ONES

As you catch the negative comments, turn them into a positive!  Two positives for each negative.  An example would be if I happened to do something silly,  and a thought inside said "You are so stupid".... counter it with "I am intelligent and I learn from my mistakes".

You are enough simply because you are Divine.  I know who I am, a daughter of God.  I leave my testimony of this knowledge and pray that we will all remember our Divine heritage. XOXO

Choose love.   CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.   Choose JOY!

Weak Things Become Strong by Leisha Greer

I’m not normally a person who has a way with words, especially when I’m nervous.  I tend to stammer, which I like to tell myself is my extremely rapid brain thinking too fast for my mouth to catch up.  This is how I’ve managed to get out of public speaking duties for 25 years.  My senior year of high school we were required to speak in the ward of our choice for our last seminary assignment. My friends all found out and showed up in support, which I stumbled my way through, voice trembling, and uttering moans and weird sounds throughout the whole talk which my friends found hilarious.  This was the last time I spoke in church.  

My problem with public speaking is in large part due to my struggle with self-esteem.  I hate the feeling of being watched and automatically think I am being judged.  When I was younger, I hated being the center of attention. Pictures taken of myself show me shrugging my shoulders up by my ears in an effort to try and hide my face.  I resembled a turtle.

I never wanted to be seen or heard.  In school, when I was called on, my heart would race, my hands would sweat, and an icy chill would flow over my whole body.  I always felt everyone was laughing at me, especially when I would stutter.

You think as I have gotten older and wiser, I wouldn’t care about what others have to think about me.  But unfortunately it carried on into my 30’s.  Living in Utah, I regularly compared myself to the other moms in the ward and often came up short with the talents that I associated with these ‘supermoms', as I liked to call them.  I put these moms on imaginary pedestals, which made me sink to a low depth of insignificance and depression.  I also grew up in an inactive home and never had a firm grasp of gospel principles.  I had tremendous guilt for not being able to teach and pass these down to my children.  

I finally realized something needed to be done.  I had a frank discussion with my bishop at the time and told him of my insecurities.  With love and understanding, he told me that first and foremost, I needed to stop comparing myself to these other moms.  He added that we all have issues that we are dealing with and that nobody’s family is perfect.

Secondly, he said to overcome my feelings of worthlessness, I needed  to remember who I am, which is a daughter of God.  I should seek His help through prayer.  For the first time in my life, I prayed for help with my anxieties.   I felt surrounded by what I can only describe as warm hug.  I knew in that moment that my Heavenly Father loved me and every one of my imperfections.

Last, he said to surround myself with positive people and positive things. Have you noticed when you are in negative company, it makes you also want to be negative?  However, this can work both ways.  Find the uplifting people in your life that make you happy.  The people who love you will always encourage you to do better and never in a critical way.  

One thing I have come to notice is that my problem is not uncommon.  At some point in our lives most people struggle with problems of self-worth.

Ether 12:27 says: “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

Elder Glenn L. Pace of the Seventy added that, “Too often we wallow in our weaknesses so much that we do not allow “weak things” to “become strong.” Our condition is frequently misdiagnosed as humility, when in reality it is a lack of confidence. To lack confidence is to have feelings of low self-worth. We are preoccupied with our weaknesses, and we lack faith in the Lord’s ability to use those weaknesses for our good. We do not understand our inestimable worth in the eyes of God, nor do we appreciate our divine potential. Ironically, both pride and a lack of self-confidence cause us to focus excessively on ourselves and to deny the power of God in our lives.”

I still struggle with self-esteem and loving myself; I unfortunately always will.  It’s hard changing a lifetime of insecurities.  But I’ve come to realize that loving yourself is not about puffing your chest and tooting your own horn.  It’s not trying to compare oneself to the world’s idea of flawlessness.  In the end,  I know through humbling myself, seeking Heavenly Father’s help through prayer, surrounding myself with those that love me,  and knowing who I am, that my struggles and insecurities can and will improve.  I have faith in knowing He will always love me, imperfections and all.