Four Hundred Ninety by Ina Overson

Last night I had the privilege of attending a truly delightful wedding reception at the fairgrounds in St. Johns. The bride was radiant, her groom adorably proud, and their parents gracious and kind. The decorations were somehow cozy and elegant at the same time and the food was delicious! I looked around at friends and neighbors cheerfully visiting and felt like I had been transported into a Country Time Lemonade commercial! Warm feelings were plentiful and visible on the faces of those around me. Thus is life in a small town…sometimes.

I have also attended events in St. Johns, from city council meetings to Little League baseball games, where there was nothing remotely ideal. The only warmth radiated from tempers barely kept under control--or not. Hostility was abundant and evident on the faces of those present. On these occasions, many of the very same friends and neighbors had found themselves on opposites sides of important issues or even insignificant quarrels. A well-meaning teacher had made a mistake or someone’s tender feelings had been bruised. Sides were chosen. Loyalties were tested.

Such situations are inevitable in small towns. We work together; we coach each other’s children, serve on the same boards and compete for the same promotions. Many of us have known one another for so long that we have had countless interactions and numberless opportunities to offend each other. If you grew up in St. Johns, it is likely that there were wonderful individuals who nurtured, taught and inspired you. It is just as likely that there were individuals who broke your heart, caused you physical pain or even crushed your dreams. Good or bad, these experiences involve people you still know and associate with on a regular basis. If you are raising children here, these experiences become even more acute and impactful!

How do we get beyond these things? Why do we stay when, often, it would be easier to leave? How do we continually associate with former enemies or people we simply do not like? How can we live in such close proximity, sometimes for generations, without becoming the Hatfields and McCoys? I don’t claim to know the answer to these questions for everyone. For me, the answer is forgiveness.

     

In the New Testament, Matthew recorded an infinitely important conversation on this topic between the Savior Jesus Christ, and his apostle, Peter: “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times:  but until seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22) When I think of forgiving someone who has hurt me, (or worse, my child) 490 times, it just seems excessive! However, when I consider being forgiven 490 times, it seems like not nearly enough. I make mistakes all the time! I made them as kid and I make them now. I am so grateful for people who are willing to forgive me! I feel especially grateful for those who assume the best of me; those who realize that I am just a person doing the best I can to live a good life.  I strongly believe that if we all recognize this about each other, we can continue to forgive. If we can continually forgive, with the help of the Lord, we can dwell happily in this small town…at least most of the time.