Sunday, June 7, 2015

Four Hundred Ninety by Ina Overson

Last night I had the privilege of attending a truly delightful wedding reception at the fairgrounds in St. Johns. The bride was radiant, her groom adorably proud, and their parents gracious and kind. The decorations were somehow cozy and elegant at the same time and the food was delicious! I looked around at friends and neighbors cheerfully visiting and felt like I had been transported into a Country Time Lemonade commercial! Warm feelings were plentiful and visible on the faces of those around me. Thus is life in a small town…sometimes.

I have also attended events in St. Johns, from city council meetings to Little League baseball games, where there was nothing remotely ideal. The only warmth radiated from tempers barely kept under control--or not. Hostility was abundant and evident on the faces of those present. On these occasions, many of the very same friends and neighbors had found themselves on opposites sides of important issues or even insignificant quarrels. A well-meaning teacher had made a mistake or someone’s tender feelings had been bruised. Sides were chosen. Loyalties were tested.

Such situations are inevitable in small towns. We work together; we coach each other’s children, serve on the same boards and compete for the same promotions. Many of us have known one another for so long that we have had countless interactions and numberless opportunities to offend each other. If you grew up in St. Johns, it is likely that there were wonderful individuals who nurtured, taught and inspired you. It is just as likely that there were individuals who broke your heart, caused you physical pain or even crushed your dreams. Good or bad, these experiences involve people you still know and associate with on a regular basis. If you are raising children here, these experiences become even more acute and impactful!

How do we get beyond these things? Why do we stay when, often, it would be easier to leave? How do we continually associate with former enemies or people we simply do not like? How can we live in such close proximity, sometimes for generations, without becoming the Hatfields and McCoys? I don’t claim to know the answer to these questions for everyone. For me, the answer is forgiveness.
     
In the New Testament, Matthew recorded an infinitely important conversation on this topic between the Savior Jesus Christ, and his apostle, Peter: “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times:  but until seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22) When I think of forgiving someone who has hurt me, (or worse, my child) 490 times, it just seems excessive! However, when I consider being forgiven 490 times, it seems like not nearly enough. I make mistakes all the time! I made them as kid and I make them now. I am so grateful for people who are willing to forgive me! I feel especially grateful for those who assume the best of me; those who realize that I am just a person doing the best I can to live a good life.  I strongly believe that if we all recognize this about each other, we can continue to forgive. If we can continually forgive, with the help of the Lord, we can dwell happily in this small town…at least most of the time.

9 comments:

  1. Thank you. May we have your permission to share this with our family? Elder & Sister Long.

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  2. Thank you. May we have your permission to share this with our family? Elder & Sister Long.

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  3. I love your writing. I also love your perspective here and know that forgiveness takes a great deal of effort and work. I too love our small town and it's people. I try to keep in perspective that they probably have to look past my short comings as much as I need to see the good in others as well. Thank s for sharing.

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  4. Man! The internet ate my reply! I'll try again.
    That was lovely! Bravo! I think that's why I'll always be a small town girl at heart. We end up like one big family in a small town, and that means we annoy each other at times. ;) But we all move on.
    Thanks for taking care of Jill yesterday. She is kind of headstrong and thinks she can do whatever sometimes. But she's one of my favorite people, and I'm glad for my friends to get to know her a bit. :)

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  5. Brother and Sister Long - You are absolutely welcome to share it.
    Brandon & Christine - Thank you so much! Teaching the children of my friends (at school or church) is one of my favorite things!

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  6. I grew up in a different northern AZ small town. Having to forgive the same person 490 times wears your soul down. Not being related to the right families wears your soul down. Having the 'sins' of your family held against you wear a your soul down. SO glad my family moved to the city! I'm raising city stickers now. We haul them out to the desert to get scratched up and have man training so they'll be less soft and experience being boys. I wouldn't wish a small town on them as children, ever!

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    1. Hi Anonymous,
      Thanks for your reply! I'm glad that you are happy where you are living. Of course, small towns are not the right place for everyone and you seem to be doing what's best for your kids. Forgiveness IS incredibly difficulty and wearing (as you said) at times. I've found that it usually takes a great deal of prayer and patience. And even then, we sometimes have to remove ourselves or family members from the influence of certain people. I wish you the best in your efforts and hope that your soul has sufficiently recovered from all that wearing down. I wish you joy!
      Ina

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  7. Thank you Ina,
    No one wanted to get out of St. Johns, AZ, faster than me at 17 years of age. I felt everyone owed me an apology. After 15 years of traveling the world, living in amazing and exotic places, I'm right back where I started, raising my own family. Irony––maybe––or maybe there are other reasons....at least 490 of them.

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  8. Thanks J! I too wanted out of SJ when I graduated (I actually think that's healthy). But I'm so happy that you are here now. You have a strong positive impact on so many people! Keep up the good work!

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