The Impact of One Man by Daryl Greer

Recently, one Sunday afternoon, I was sitting at my house doing nothing particularly productive.  My mind wandered to thoughts of a previous bishop I’d had.  The memory inspired me and I decided to write him a letter. So, I pulled out a pen and some paper, and in my barely legible handwriting began to express my gratitude for all that this bishop had done for me over the years.

      This was the man that had given me my first calling…a calling I felt astonishingly unqualified for. He also took a chance when he gave me a key to the church for this calling, which I only mention because at that point in my life, my parents had deemed me not quite ready to have a key to their house due to the 4 previously lost keys to their garage, their two misplaced truck keys, and a badly bent and deformed shed key (which in my defense still worked if you jiggled it just right). But the trust he showed in me boosted my confidence.  This was a man who always gave freely and generously to me whether it was going out to his ranch, inviting me to dinner or just taking a few minutes to talk with me whenever I needed.

So I finished my letter to this bishop, who had invested so much time, effort, and trust into a young and somewhat irresponsible kid. I completed the next step and sent the letter, and then didn’t give it a second thought.

A few weeks later that bishop showed up at my house.  He had come by to express how much that handwritten letter meant to him; we talked for a few more minutes then he gave me a big hug and with all the sincerity in the world told me how much he loved me which, coming from this man, meant the world to me!

I share this story only to illustrate and express the impact that one man had, and can have on a young man trying to find his way in this increasingly difficult and changing world.

Saint Johns is full of many good men… my hope is that we all can find time to give direction, inspiration, and hope like this bishop did for me.  There are many of this younger generation trying to find their place, and way in this world.  They need the generosity of good men to help lead them in their journey. 

He is the Gift by By Whiting

As I reflect on our Brother's birth, and his subsequent life and ministry becoming the Savior of the world, I stand in awe and reverence of His commitment and ability to fulfill it. It takes little effort to voice a commitment, but a lifetime of struggle to complete it after the emotion motivating the commitment subsides. We generally take it for granted He fulfilled His central role in the plan of happiness. Yet so critical was His role in the Father's plan, without Him and His perfect life all else is of no consequence. Our eternal existence as souls and our life here on earth means nothing without his perfect atonement.

As His young earthly mother held Him in her arms before placing Him back in the manger she must of glimpsed the magnificent but lonely life her young child was destined to lead. Did she know her own salvation and that of the entire human race hinged upon his ability to fulfill the commitment He made thousands of years earlier in the preexistence? As His earthly father felt His tiny hands and feet while wrapping Him in swaddling clothes, did he appreciate those hands; he would help strengthen over the years in his carpenter shop, would be pierced with iron nails to hold the weight of His bloody body as He hung up on a cross between two thieves? Did those humble shepherds who came to witness His birth know that He would rise again as the perfect lamb so all men could be resurrected?

As you and I sang in the heavenly choirs while witnessing His birth, and with the veil not drawn over our eyes, we were able to see into eternity while the spirit bore witness this is the Son of the living God. We were there that night with our Heavenly Mother as She must have shed tears knowing Her eldest son had taken on a tabernacle of clay and would suffer all the sins, pains, and infirmities of all the Father's children. This Christmas season thank our Heavenly Mother and Father that they had the love to allow their eldest son to fulfill that commitment He made so many thousands of years ago, by sending Him to earth knowing only He could do for each of us what we could not do for ourselves - give us a chance to return and live with them again. May we each keep the commitment we made in the preexistence and offer a broken heart and a contrite spirit so we can return and live with our eternal parents once more. 

Merry CHRISTmas!

The Star Within --- by Jacque Baca via Suzanne Hancock

This is a poem my mom wrote for us, her children, one Christmas. While I was going through my Christmas folder, I came across it. Reading it again, I felt the Spirit: the Spirit of this season, the Spirit of our Savior, the Spirit and faith of these Wise Men, the Spirit that my mom carried with her. She gave us great gifts of her written word to treasure always, year after year and Christmas after Christmas, like this poem. It is my honor and privilege to share it with all of you.

The Star Within

Wise Men of old bravely traveled,
The empty, lonely way,
To find a promised Messiah,
The Holy Scriptures say.

They had no precise directions,
No compass, map or guide,
They only had a single star,
And what they had inside.

For many there were that saw it,
That star so new and bright,
So what made just those few magi,
Notice it one dark night?

What made them gather provisions
To make that journey long?
Did they see the blessed birthplace?
Did they hear the angels' song?

Or was the star that led them there,
Mirrored within their hearts,
To recognize the message true,
And go to do their parts?

The star shines on for us today,
Somewhere there in our view,
Will we take time to look for it,
Remembering anew?

Will that tiny flicker in us,
Burst into light so bright?
When we see our star before us,
Will we know that it's right?

Will we courageously follow,
The path of faith we feel?
Will we find our precious Savior,
And at his cradle kneel?

That star is there for us to find,
Our path to Him begin,
We'll never find that star without,
Without the star within.

Stronger Wind, Stronger Tree --- by Tyler Johnson

I want to share with all of you my testimony of my Savior and His work. I hope that this will rekindle your faith and enable your mind in the service of God. He does have an immense amount of love for you. 

When I was on my mission, I found it to be a struggle, but it was also a joy. I think back to the beginning and where I was spiritually, and I know that the things I was doing and my thoughts on what I wanted to do were not all in harmony with the Savior. I think about my thoughts now, and I feel a feeling of comfort and also a feeling to do more, to continue in the service of the Lord. Even though I may have no clue of what my Father in Heaven wants me to do, I feel safe in His hands. I feel safe in giving myself to Him and doing what I feel is right and what He wants me to do, even if it makes no sense to me.

I know that this Gospel is true. I went on my mission with the hope that what I was doing was right, but through the experiences I have had and through the struggles of a broken heart and a contrite spirit, I can testify that the Savior has comforted me and answered my prayers as I endured my struggles righteously, not knowing the outcome but trusting in God. He does care, and He WILL help. I know that to be true. I've noticed that his help usually came at my breaking point, where I felt lost and forsaken. These trials have built me into who I am now. "Where there is a stronger wind, there is a stronger tree." Without God's love and without Him giving me these opportunities to grow, I know there would be no exercising of my faith. I am truly grateful for the struggles I was given. I would not change anything about my mission. I learned so much and loved every second of it.

There is nothing better than being in the service of God.

Lessons & Blessings by Brad Overson

Hello, I was asked to write a few words about my HOME town St. Johns.  My name is Brad Overson and St. Johns is where I was raised.  I am the fourth generation of Overson’s to live in St. Johns from my great grandfather to myself. My Parents are Ross and Dana, two of the best parents anyone could ask for, whom I owe a great deal to for giving me the opportunities and the lessons that get me through life today.   Growing up in St. Johns was truly a blessing; I may not have said that in my teen years, but once I was on my own I learned that I had experienced more in this small town then most do in a life time. 

Some of my memories have become cloudy in my old age, but a few still stand out as if it were yesterday.  Remembering how comfortable it is living here when as kids could take off on our bikes all over town, could walk to the pool to swim at 1 every afternoon, when summers consisted of working and then playing.  We didn’t have cell phones to check in nor did we have to have a parent sitting watching our every step because of BUSY traffic. Raising animals and learning how to care for them, I was a member of the 4H club here when Sister Humes was the leader of the western horse showing, Scouts with Vergy Postered as our leader, sports as we got older with dads coaching the teams.  You just can’t get any better.

Not only is this a comfy place but it’s full of good people.  I cannot think of an instance where someone needed help and couldn’t get it.  More often than not my father, who was a great example to me of service, would spend more time helping others than on stuff of his own.  Hard work is a must was his phrase of choice.  Spending the majority of our time getting wood, fixing someone’s vehicle, or gathering cows, and loving every minute of it of spending time with my father and others who gathered together to help someone.

I was always looking for work as a teen ager and got my first job working with my grandpa at the tire store and on the ranch, although I was a chatter box I spent a lot of time listening when he would tell stories of my dad when he was my age and stories of him and his father going horse back to Holbrook to see the first train go by, and flying in WWII, helped me  I got my first job outside of family with the feed store in town, Clint and Cherie Wiltbank gave me a job helping around the store.  Working there my entire high school I grew leaps learning how to talk to people and staying motivated to finish tasks.  From there I went and served a mission in Boston Massachusetts, and boy was I thanking the people of St. Johns as the experiences of helping those was a rewarding blessing with countless opportunities to help with vehicles and handy guy repairs which lead to teaching opportunities.

Now with my own family one little boy and a girl on the way, my wife and I have returned to raise our family and offer the same opportunities that we count as priceless. Lessons and blessings this small town.

Small Town, Big Hearts by Michelle Maestas

Growing up in a small town is something the city kids will just never understand. I’ve lived in small towns before and this is one of the smallest towns I have lived in and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Some of my experiences in St. Johns are only something others from St. Johns would understand.  

You see here in this town you usually know the name of every person you graduate with, although I did not graduate from St. Johns I know everyone in my daughters graduating class. It’s a great way to get to know who’s in town and who the parents are just by saying a name AMAZING!! I remember calling a wrong number one time and the person on the other line politely gave me the right number and told me that they were not home just yet.

Living in a small town allows you to leave your home and not even locking the door at night, crazy in this day and age.  But the neighbors are going to let you know if you had visitor or even call you on the cell phone to let you know. You can even charge things at Bride’s or Wilbur’s without a credit card and the clerk knew who to charge it to without asking for your name……….again small town.

People can always find you in a small town. Flower deliveries made it to you no matter where you were at the time because the delivery person knew where to look and who to ask. Talking to one person you realize that person is related to nearly everyone in town……again small town. My adorable niece was very attached to her “binky” and no one could seem to find one so that she could go to sleep. So, my sister-in-law called the owner of the Wilbur’s store at 10:30pm, he came and opened the store and they got the “binky” so my niece could sleep…………..small town.

An exciting day is the days you drive 45 minutes to the nearest Wal-Mart with the family. Stopping to eat at all the nice restaurants and getting everything you need so you do not have to make another trip until next month………small town.

The only traffic jam in town was experienced during 4:30 in the afternoon when the plant was changing shifts and everyone was going home.  Or during a football game against Round Valley and trying to get home (which was down the street from the school). One great thing about this small town is no stop light, really who needs one.  Traffic jams happen when we have a parade downtown celebrating homecoming week with the rest of the town folk…..small town

Giving directions in St. Johns is based on who you know and where they live. If you are going to so and so house you give directions by saying “Do you know where the Smith’s live?” We don’t use google maps we just need to know where you are going so we can give you directions………small town

One thing that can be said about this great small town is that the people in it have HUGE hearts. If you know of a family in need people in this small town are right there to help out in any way they can. If you have ever missed a Sunday in church people want to know that you are okay. We help each other out and lend a hand because you know that they would do the same for you. Thank you St. Johns for being my small town….there is a lot to be said for living in a small town, while this list is an overview of my personal experiences and observations in my small town, I’m sure you can relate to many of them.

5 Life Lessons I Learned on my Mission---by Austin Davis

Life Lesson #1: We need to forgive.

         You make everyday choices either to forgive or not to forgive,

and it will have an impact on whether you are friends with someone or not. The Lord forgives those who forgive. Sometimes it's so dang hard to be humble and repent and forgive, but once it's over, you feel better, that person feels better, and you know you did the right thing. Sometimes you don't even mean to hurt someone’s feelings, but the other person is totally offended. That's when you have to rely on The Lord and just act as He would and repent with a full heart. I know it's hard, but if you need to apologize to someone, do it. You will never regret it.

Life Lesson #2: God is kind.

God truly knows us. We may think, "Oh how can he know me? There are so many people?" Sometimes Heavenly Father answers my questions before the question even comes to mind. I know God is kind. He has forgiven me and will continue to forgive me. Sometimes we screw up, but this life is about progression, not perfection. Keep your head up. God didn't provide a Savior for us for no reason. Use that Atonement that Jesus Christ performed for us.

Life Lesson #3: Look at the situation slowly.        

I met a man who only could talk about pornography & sex. He was so engulfed in it. It was disgusting. It was hard to see someone have all of that and not want to rid themselves from it. I learned from this that you must look at the situation slowly, kind of like baseball; you have to look at the pitch slowly! This experience he did not want to give up. Satan had a hold of his mind and his will. As we look at situations that might seem harmless, they could lead us down trails we should not travel. This man did not truly understand why we are here on earth! It is to come closer to our eternal maker.

Life Leson #4: The Value of True Friends

True friends, real friends, just put things into perspective. I'm thankful for true friends because they are not afraid to put you straight and give you the answer that sometimes you don't want to hear. You will always heed your true friends’ counsel. I received a Priesthood blessing this week, and how thankful I am for my friends holding the Priesthood just as the apostles of old.

Life Lesson #5: Turn to God for help through trials.

Heavenly Father needs for us to go through hard times to see how much we really love Him and to see how strong we are. He wants to see where we will turn when we fall. Will we turn to the dark and ignore God, or at our weakest state will we be humble enough to ask God for help? We need to ask Him prayerfully to have safety for our souls.

For these lessons I have learned, I am grateful, for a great change has been written on my heart. I know that Christ lives. I know that pain that He felt when the nails went through His hands and feet were for me. I am eternally grateful for his service and the Atonement He performed for me.

God Loves his Children Story written by Kirsten Udall as told by Jimmie Rogers

     “I had been inactive for a long time.  But somewhere inside me I knew I needed to go back to the gospel.  So I did just that .  My girlfriend Lesa, belonged to another church, and I knew she would be a great member of my church.” Jimmie Rogers is a member of the Concho Branch, and he described how he literally one day, “saddled up two horses and went to Lesa’s church and picked her up to bring her to his.”  Jimmie describes Lesa as a “bible thumper” who knows the scriptures inside and out.  He said when she listened to the missionary lessons, she could see how what she knew from study of the bible, blended perfectly, with what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints believed as well.  The two were married in June, and attend the branch faithfully.

     Several weeks back, they had an experience that reinforced their faith in our Heavenly Father, and just how much he loves and watches out for his children.  The two were collecting chickens, and roosters, by the post office, and had headed toward St. Johns to get gas.   In Jimmie’s words, “ we were drivin into St. Johns, and flipped our truck.  When we started to flip, I thought of how tiny Lesa is and knew that even though she was belted in, she might possibly slip out of her seatbelt, or worse.”  Without a second thought he unbuckled his seatbelt and reached across and wrapped his arms around her so that she would be safe.  Somewhere in these brief seconds, he was hit with the possible consequence of the choice he had made.  He said I remember thinking to myself, “I’m dead… when I heard a voice speak to my mind that said, “NO you’re not.”  Next he remembers feeling the presence of an angel that he reports, “came in through the window and held me tight against my seat, until the truck stopped rolling.  Rescuers on the scene marveled that this couple walked away without injury.  The truck was totaled!  Lesa knows that it was an angel that protected them  She says, “I saw a flash of light, and could see him in the cab with us.” Both of them know that God sent this angel to keep them safe.  They know He loves his children and watches out for them.  They want others to know this too.

Putting your faith and trust in Heavenly Father By Kimberly Farr

Ryan and I thought our family was done.  We gave away/ sold all our baby items.  Last April, Emma turned 2. She would say "I'm big girl!" I closed my chapter of having more kids and felt good about that.  Last May, Ryan came to me out of the blue and said "You are probably going to laugh but I have had a lot of thought about having another one." My first reaction was " That's not funny.  I'm too old to do this again. We said we were done." But in that moment I knew we had another one waiting.  We prayed to Heavenly Father about this path and felt it was right.  Last August, we found out we are pregnant.  I will never forget the smile on Ryan's face.  This first trimester has been really hard.  I have been very sick.  I had days I could barely get out of bed.  Ryan was a true blessing and took care of me, our kids, the house, his job, and everything else.  He never complained.  I asked Ryan for many blessings during this difficult time.  Every time Ryan gave me a blessing, I felt peace and I felt Heavenly Father right next to me.  I knew this is the path we needed to be on even though at the time it was very hard for me.  I knew we could do this together. I will never forget my first ultrasound.  The first thing I saw was 2 circles.  I looked at the ultrasound guy, looked back at the 2 circles, looked back at the guy... He then said with a huge smile "Well my dear, you are having twins!" I couldn't believe it! Then he zoomed in closer.  I was truly touched as I saw 2 tiny hearts beating inside me! I have to say I never freaked out! I never said Really Heavenly Father you think I can do this.  All I have felt is PEACE! From day one of going down this path I put my whole heart, my faith, my trust in Heavenly Father! This is the path our family needs to be on!  I am now 14 weeks along and am getting back on my feet.  We truly are excited for these 2 extra blessings Heavenly Father is sending to our family.  I have my faith and my trust that we can do this as a family.  It might be hard at times, I won't get any sleep, it will be a juggling act... But I have my Heavenly Father right next to me and all I have to do is get on my knees and pray and his arms will be around me.  I know we can do this together as a family! I am truly blessed for all that Heavenly Father has blessed me with.  I can't wait to hold and snuggle and kiss these extra blessings!

Children are like sponges……. They absorb everything Written By: Candice Bond

Last weekend I had the opportunity to listen to General Conference.  As I listened many thoughts came to my mind, but it seems Elder L. Tom Perry’s talk hit me the deepest.  In his talk Elder L. Tom Perry discussed the important roles that both a mother and a father play in a child’s life. He stated, “The most powerful teaching a child will ever receive will come from concerned and righteous fathers and mothers.”  As he said this I reflected on my own role at home as a wife and mother.  Immediately several instances came to my mind. The first one was about a year ago when my daughter Paislee was only two years old.  From the time Paislee was born she has received many priesthood blessings for various reasons.  One day I was not feeling very well and had told Paislee that she needed to be extra good that day because I was sick.  All of a sudden I felt two little hands on the top of my head and heard Paislee begin to whisper a prayer asking our heavenly father to help me so that I would feel better.  This showed me that although Paislee, at two years old did not fully understand the priesthood, she had a great foundation of knowledge knowing that when someone is sick and they get a “prayer” that they can be healed.  The second instance happened just last week.  I had just put the girls in my van and was heading downtown to run some errands for the day. My husband had driven my van the night before and when I got in I found what I think was ranch dressing had been dripped all over my steering wheel and my seat.  I immediately stated my frustrations, cleaned the mess up and forgot all about it.  That afternoon as Ty walked in from work Paislee immediately walked up to him and told him how much trouble he was in because he had spilled ranch dressing in my car and had not cleaned it up.  Seeing her react like this made me stop and think about how my initial reaction had impacted her so much that hours later after I had already forgotten about the situation she felt she needed to make sure her dad knew he was “in trouble”.   Elder Perry said “sometimes we find ourselves in situations when we have the opportunity to teach children a lesson which will have a lasting effect on their young lives, a successful parent should never be too busy to capture a moment in a child’s life when an important lesson can be taught.”  As we go through each day we have the opportunity to teach our children many lessons in life.  They are like sponges, they absorb everything, both the good and the bad.  One of my all time favorite scriptures is found in Helaman 5:12. It says, “And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall”.  As a young mother I often feel overwhelmed with life in general and feel that I fall short of being the ideal wife and mother.   I find comfort in this scripture and the promises that it makes.  Although I am far from perfect, I know that the lord will be there to help me every step of the way.  I can only hope and pray as I strive to teach my girls that that they will remember more of the good things than the bad.

Answered Prayers by Velvet Nielsen

         I am always amazed at what a loving God we have who hears and answers our personal prayers.  Two years ago my husband and I were buying cattle at the sale barn in Belen.  It was critical to our loan officer for us to finish buying our cattle that week.  Our little seven year old girl had a bad kidney infection and we hated to drag her to the sale barn because it typically took all day to fill our truck. We prayed earnestly that we would finish in a timely manner so we could take our little girl home.  I was amazed that the cow/calf pairs came through early and we were able to fill our order by 9:30 a.m.
        Another time we were out of money with which to buy supplement feed. We were worrying about how this would affect our cows ability to breed back in a timely manner.  I prayed again to get some help.  I got up from my knees and found an old Livestock weekly magazine on the couch, as I was flipping through the pages I came to an article which gave me some critical information we needed to apply at that time to help us in our business.  I know God loves each of us and is wanting and waiting on us to ask for his divine help. I am so thankful that we can always pray to a loving heavenly father.

Maybe I’m being too Hard on Myself? By Cassie Traasdahl

 My sister met up with friends recently. Friends she hadn’t seen for a while. As they greeted each other, she received a lot of compliments on her hair, clothes and tiny frame. As she told me the story she said, “It got me thinking…”

“Maybe we’re all being too hard on ourselves.”

I have a friend whom I admire. A friend I’ve looked up to since the day I met her. In a conversation between my husband and I a while back, he asked me to name three people I want to be like, and hers was the first name out of my mouth. While talking to her one day, she told me a list of things she’d been struggling with. A list of insecurities about her role as a wife, mother, daughter and friend. I honestly couldn’t believe what I was hearing. In my mind, this girl walked on water! There was no way she had issues similar to mine. No way her life was anything but perfect.

But that was my first problem. Believing that her life was perfect was my first and biggest problem.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. Because the thing about social media is that you see what people want you to see. So all those pictures that are posted with perfect captions of perfectly dress kids, in perfectly decorated, spotless houses, that belong to perfect-looking couples who go on perfect dates and perfect vacations are there because that’s how most people want to be perceived. Most people aren’t going to show you when their house is a disaster, or when date night is spent on the couch with a greasy top knot and no makeup, or when they’re three seconds away from ripping their hair out because that perfectly dressed kid of theirs just won’t. Stop. Crying.

I’ve had to learn that perfect doesn’t exist. And whether people post the things they do for fear of being judged, or because they just prefer to keep certain things private, or because they don’t want to be negative, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we have to remember that perfect isn’t a thing, at least not as long as we’re human.

Earlier this week I got the sweetest text from a friend who admitted that she’s looked at my life and thought, “man she really does have it all.” Umm, what? Me?  Can’t keep my house clean, doesn’t cook as often as she should, watches way too much TV, pushes the limits on how many days a person should go without washing their hair, me?

That’s the thing though. She was looking at my life admirably while I was doing the same thing back to her.

Maybe she’s being too hard on herself.

I now realize I \need to stop focusing on what I don’t have, and start being more appreciative of what I do have. Maybe my house looks fine in all its everything-is-from-Ikea-or-Target glory. Maybe I don’t need nicer sunglasses, because I always lose them anyway. Maybe it’s okay that I can’t justify spending money on extensions because my hair seems to manage without them. Maybe my future kids won’t win any awards for best-dressed, but maybe that doesn’t matter because once I have them, they’ll be mine and they’ll be my husband’s and after all we will have been through to get them here, what they’re wearing just can’t be that important.

Maybe my life is wonderful just the way it is.

Maybe I need to stop comparing myself to others.

Maybe I’m being too hard on myself?

 -Cassie is the granddaughter of Frank and Corrine Wilbur of St. Johns. A special thanks to her for letting me share her message.   "I'm enough… " video link

As a side highlight to this topic, watch this video and appreciate that you aren't perfect, but you can be perfectly you!  

"I'm enough… " video link

Perhaps many of you have seen this video by The Mrs., all female band.  It is an awesome example of how critical we usually are about ourselves, and a reminder that other people's perceptions of us just may surprise us!

Lessons We Learn Along the Way… by Deanne Wahl

      For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mother.  My mother is amazing and growing up all I wanted was to be like her….in fact I still want to grow up to be like my mom.  When Alan and I were married I remember the Sealer talking to us quite a bit about becoming parents and raising a family. When I found we were expecting our first baby I was so excited.  I thought constantly on what I needed to teach her and how I could best help her learn what she needed to know. Little did I know at that time that the lessons to be learned were mine, not hers. 

I love my children so much and am taught daily by them.  Sometime it is little things like pink and red and green are completely acceptable colors to be worn together.  Or, it is fine to make a mess and say sorry because it will be cleaned sometime.  Or, that we now have a Ghost called “It wasn’t me” that lives in our home. J 

     However, so many times in my life I have learned what our Father in Heaven meant when he said to become like a little child.  Children have this amazing ability to forgive and to see only the good. They understand that life is amazing and always find a way to show me that.

Recently I was taught by my daughter that hardwork is important and rewarding, although not in the way we may hope. My oldest decided to do a 4H pig this year, even though mom and dad were not very motivated. I told her that this was her pig and she needed to put in the time. I was not going to feed this pig or walk it, this was her project to do.  She was amazing. Every morning and night she rode her bike over and fed and watered her pig. She dewormed it, washed it,  cleaned the pen, and walked the pig all without any complaint. As a mom I was so excited to see her keep up her end of the bargain. When the fair came around her pig ended up weighing in 3 lbs. too light. She was aware that her pig was close and when it came off the scale I was devastated for her. I had seen the amount of work she put in and I was worried that she would think that she had failed. As she brought the pig back to her pen,  I waited to see what she would say. She look at me and said, “I’m sorry, Mom!” 

I was dumbfounded. I asked her why she was sorry and she said because she thought I would be sad. She tried to explain that she had done everything I told her to and she really had tried. I couldn’t believe it. As heartbroken as I was for her, she was worried about what I would think! I took her in my arms and let her know I was so proud of the work she had done!  I knew she had worked harder than anyone I knew, and that she truly had done everything she needed to do. Her response was, “Well, now we know what to do next year.” 

     Since then I've pondered this; why couldn’t that be my thinking? I seem to dwell on the negative while my little girl immediately pointed my mind towards the lessons we learned. I think our Father in Heaven gives us the ability to work and expects us to work hard. However, there are times that the only payments we may get are the lessons we learn along the way.  

     I am grateful for the faith that Heavenly Father had in me when he sent me my babies.  I know that I have so much to learn from them and am thankful when I understand the lessons I am supposed to be learning.

Journey to Motherhood by Jamie Anderson Neubauer

Shortly after meeting my husband in 2010 I knew he was the one I wanted to marry and have a family with. He was not a member of the Church and I was not an active member, and hadn’t been for many years, but I had no doubt he was the one for me. We decided together that as soon as we married we would start our family. Shortly after getting married we moved from Iowa to St. Johns where my husband, Tony, took a teaching and coaching position at the high school. We continued our attempts at getting pregnant but two years later we were still waiting. It seemed like our prayers were going unanswered. I began to question myself and my spirituality; was I not worthy enough to have children? I was confused. Why were so many of my friends and family being blessed many times over with children? Did Heavenly Father love them more? I was beginning to feel depleted spiritually and emotionally.

During this time of frustration and sadness, I remember getting the Ensign in the mail one day. I put it on the table along with the other mail that came with it. It sat there for a couple of days until I felt prompted to read it. I opened up to an article about a couple who was struggling with infertility. I don’t remember the title of the article but the message of it really hit me hard. We were ready to be parents in every way: we had a home, my husband had a career, we were healthy and we were financially stable. However, one thing was missing: we didn’t have the Gospel in our home. Tony and I rarely talked about religion throughout our marriage. We both agreed that if we are going to have children, some sort of faith needs to be in our home- whether it is Catholic or LDS, but that’s as far as our discussions went on religion. After reading that article, I started going back to church here and there. It was nothing regular but it was a start. Later, Tony started coming as well and eventually joined the Church and we were sealed one year later.

We continued our efforts at getting pregnant, which included many failed fertility treatments, an unsuccessful surgery and eventually learned our only option was in vitro fertilization. As hard as that was to hear, we were thankful for some answers as everything to this point had been unexplained. But this didn’t mean we felt it was the right option for us. There were so many factors to consider. It was expensive and even for someone healthy the success rate wasn’t appealing. It meant months of grueling treatments, injections and procedures; ones with risks. The only place to get this type of treatment was four hours away, meaning I would have to make countless trips back and forth by myself; sometimes several times a month, once a week and even daily depending on the different stages of the process. Were we really up to this challenge? Was I mentally and emotionally strong enough for all this? I knew I wanted a family more than anything but I never imagined it would take so much to have what some take for granted and what others can have so easily.

We prayed and fasted about whether to take this road or not and after getting an answer we decided we were up to the challenge. If we tried and failed, at least we knew we tried and could then move on to adoption. I remember being nervous once we started the process. I was excited we had a plan but also scared of the unknown. At the beginning of the treatments there were times I wondered why I was putting myself through this. It was harder than I ever could have imagined. I prayed for comfort and strength but still couldn’t shake the fear of the outcome. I feared I would go through all this and end up with nothing.

Then one day I was cleaning out the closet in our guestroom and as I was going through some boxes I found my patriarchal blessing. I thought I had lost it so I was surprised to find it. It had been so long since I read it that I could not remember anything about it. I sat on the bed and read exactly what I needed to hear. It mentions that my greatest mission here on earth is to become a mother and eternal wife and that I will be blessed with a family. I immediately felt comforted and my doubts were dissolved. Those few words gave me all the strength and faith I needed to continue. The several priesthood blessings I received gave me comfort through the ups and downs of this journey. I knew in my heart that we were going down the right path; that the Lord blessed us with this opportunity to have a family, and with our faith and prayers and the many others that prayed and fasted with us, we would get through this and have our family. On February 13^, 2014 we found out we were expecting. Words cannot describe the amount of relief and gratitude we felt that our prayers had been answered. Eight days after our third wedding anniversary we finally had the biggest blessing we could ever ask for.

Looking back, I now realize the Lord was not ignoring our prayers and desire to have a family; His plan for my husband and I unfolded in his own time and way. Even though this painful road of infertility felt lonely and hopeless at times, it provided us with a wonderful opportunity to grow as a couple and strengthen our spirituality. Through infertility we are now prepared to raise our son and future children in the gospel. I cannot imagine getting through this trial without having the scriptures, Heavenly Father, prayer and faith to carry us through. I’m grateful I was able to listen to the promptings of the Lord. He has his own timeframe and way of answering prayers. Our prayers were answered, not exactly in the way we wanted, but through this trial there were experiences and blessing we could not have received any other way.