Waiting for the Windows of Heaven by Kay Perkins

As I look back over my life and contemplate what I could write to benefit others, I am turned to the experiences I had in becoming a mother. All of my life I dreamed of

getting married, having lots of kids, and living happily ever after. Dreams are good to

have, but I believe we must always be prepared when things don’t work out the way we

want them to.

Allan and I were married on August 22, 1986 in the right place, and in the Lord’s time. I was 28 years old when we began our journey together. We wanted to havea baby as soon as possible and did nothing to avoid starting our family. In the fall of 1987, our wish came true, but it was short lived when I miscarried at 3 months. I never dreamed that that would be the only time I would become pregnant. Allan got deathly sick in 1988 and almost died from complications of Pancreatitis with Pseudo Cysts. After 3 major surgeries and months in the hospital, we finally could live a normal life.

Law School and Graduation came and went. Allan’s first job after the Bar Exam led us

to Mohave County, Arizona, then on to Graham County and my home town of Thatcher.

For 11 years we tried every option of having our own child. Feelings of anger, betrayal, sadness, failure, bitterness, and anxiety, filled my soul for years. Every time a friend or relative shared the news that they were going to have a baby, I felt denied. I was so happy for them, but deep inside, my heart was aching. I felt my prayers were in vain, that Heavenly Father had forgotten about me, that I didn’t matter to Him anymore.

My father passed away in 1994, and I spent many Sunday mornings visiting his gravesite

searching for unanswered questions. I figured that was where I could find peace and solace to calm the ache in my heart. For some reason, I felt closer to Heaven when I was there. I poured out my soul and shed many tears on those visits. I pleaded and bargained with Heavenly Father to please let me be a mother. It was my greatest desire. I promised that if He would send us a child, I would raise that child to walk uprightly before Him and that I would make sure that child knew they were His child.

The answers came. We knew we would never conceive a child of our own, so we started the adoption process through the LDS Church Social Services. The long process was completed late in 1996, and we were finally certified to adopt in the State of Arizona. The waiting list was long, and I didn’t have much hope. I was used to all those feelings of disappointment and prepared myself for the worse. However, despite my doubts and fears, Heavenly Father knew the desires of our hearts and had a plan for us.

In June of 1997, out of the blue, we received a phone call from a very dear friend of ours. She told us of a young girl who was in trouble and wanted to give her baby up for adoption, and would we be interested in taking the baby. I stood there with tears streaming down my face trying to compose myself long enough to give her our answer. On October 13, 1997, a beautiful baby boy came into this world and made me a mom. When we walked into the hospital that night and saw this precious son of God for the first time, I knew instantly that Heavenly Father loved me, and He had answered my prayers. The pure joy that filled my soul cannot be described.

Six months later, as Allan and I knelt at the altar in the Mesa Temple, and they placed Dallin on the altar to be sealed to us for all Eternity, Heaven was opened and the Holy Ghost bore witness to me that indeed Dallin was mine. He had to come to us in a different way, but he was ours forever. When Dallin was 2, he was in my mother’s bedroom, and when I went to find him, he was standing in front of a picture of my father and mother. He pointed at my dad and said, “Grandpa.” How did he know him? I had never shown him a picture of my dad, nor talked to him about his Grandpa Jones. I truly believe that my father played a major role in the placement of Dallin in our home. They knew each other well, in Heaven, before Dallin came to earth. The time I spent pleading and praying in the cemetery, was not in vain. They heard me, not only Heavenly Father, but also my earthly father. The veil is thin and our loved ones are closer than we know. Of this I am sure.

I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father is aware of us, He loves us, and He does

answer our prayers. The windows of Heaven will open for us, maybe not in our time

frame, but in His. We don’t always understand why things happen the way they do, but

because He loves us, we can find peace. Dallin is currently serving a full time mission in

Salt Lake City. He knows who he is; he knows he is a Son of God. I am so glad I kept my promise to God, and He kept His.

Bus 8 Will Never Be the Same by Suzanne Hancock

Every morning when my eight-year-old would get on the bus, he was greeted by a jubilant, "HELLO, CAEL! How are you, buddy?" "Hi, John!" Cael would excitedly respond, and then he would launch into his signature nonstop talking about anything and everything.

On that fifteen to twenty minute ride to school, John and Cael would discuss the Arizona Cardinals' latest win or loss; which bus they had that day; which busses were broken down; when Cael had a visit from the tooth fairy; the trip Cael had taken over the weekend; what Santa brought for Christmas; John's Cubs' World Series hat; and on and on and on.

They also discussed John's upcoming retirement from driving the bus.

I don't know who was more saddened by this news: Cael or his parents.

That greeting each weekday morning started Cael's day off with joy.
That short ride to school demonstrated John's patience and willingness to listen.
That interest in a little boy's life helped Cael feel special.

John would let him shut the bus door and be his little helper. He gave Cael jobs to do, which helped him to be responsible and to feel needed.

I observed all of this from the slightly ajar front door or from the window every day, and every day I smiled and felt a wave of gratitude that this bus driver was sent into the life of my son.

The amazing thing is, I know that John was this way with many of the children. I'm not the only mom who saw the way he treated the kids. He is an example of the Light of Christ that can be shared in small and simple ways. He is an example of how we should treat others in our lives. He is an example of the teaching of our Savior in Matthew, chapter 25, verse 40: "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

John Poe is much more than a bus driver. He took his job and used it to reach out and to make someone else happy. His impact on my son's life and on ours will forever be etched in our hearts.

Being an only child, Cael has no siblings, but he now has an eternal brother, thanks to one man's selfless and giving soul.

He Watched Over Me by Clint Wiltbank

I had an experience years ago that helped me realize that our Heavenly Father is real, and is very conscious of us.  It was at the end of my first semester at BYU.  I had a couple of different jobs just to try and keep up with expenses.  One of my jobs, I milked the night shift at the University dairy.  It was Christmas Eve, and I had just finished the 3^rd shift around 2AM.  I had planned to drive all the next day to come home for Christmas. I drove an old '68 Chevy 4X4 pickup without any seat belts.  The dairy was in Spanish Fork, about 20 miles from where my dorm was on campus.  The interstate was abandoned as I made my way back to campus.  I remember driving about 75-80 miles per hour, when the front end of my pickup started bouncing so bad, I had a hard time getting the truck pulled to the side of the interstate.  Thinking that I had a broken front axle, I crawled underneath with a flashlight to survey the scene. The front axle was intact.  I climbed back in the cab, thinking I might be able to limp the truck the rest of the way into Provo.  I started, and everything seemed fine.  As I got back up to freeway speed, the truck started bucking again.  This time, after getting her shutdown, I took my flashlight, and stood several yards in front and could see that my driver-side front wheel was just resting on the 4 wheel drive hub.  There wasn't a lug nut left holding the wheel on.  That wheel stayed on that hub going 75 down the freeway, pulling off, starting again, and pulling off a second time.  There is no logical explanation why I shouldn't have been killed that night, other than I was being looked out for by some heavenly being.   

The next year I was on a mission for the church, working with the southeast Asian Vietnamese community in Houston, TX.  A lot of these people had been brought to the US on an immigration program after enduring some horrible experiences after the Vietnam war.  I constantly got the “A  kind God wouldn't have let such horrible things happen”.  I know that our mortal minds don't comprehend all things, and I fully believe that some day everything will make sense to us.  I do know that on that Christmas Eve so many years ago, my Heavenly Father was looking out for me, an insignificant 19 year old.  I have contemplated that experience many times since then, and am grateful that I was spared that night.

Finding Joy by Brad Jarvis

In today’s world, as the world sees things, there has never been a better time to be able to find joy.  Technology and mechanical advances have created some amazing things that can do the impossible and are a lot of fun.  The world would have us believe that this is joy.  Although these things are amazing and can bring a lot of happiness and fun to us and our families, it is far from the true definition of joy.  President Nelson states, “When the focus of our lives is on Jesus Christ and His gospel we can feel joy regardless of what is happening or not happening in our lives.”  So by putting Christ and the gospel as the focus we are following Pres. Burgoyne’s council as to the “why” in our lives.  As we try to become like Christ and try living the gospel we put ourselves in the position of experiencing true joy.

One personal experience I find joy in, which I’m sure the world would view as small and insignificant, is having my boys conduct Family Home Evening.  My older boys have somewhat lost the enthusiasm, but if asked, are able to successfully accomplish it.  But we’ve got Shad who still loves to take charge and assign the prayers, songs, and treat.  If only as much thought went into the rest of the program as the treat, we would be well on our way to becoming spiritual giants.  

Years ago I heard a story told about a General Authority visiting England at the beginning of WWII. 

While he was waiting to organize sacrament meeting, the General Authority ran into a preacher that told him he hoped he had better luck holding a meeting then he had had since only a few people had shown up.  The General Authority invited him to attend sacrament meeting with him.  The preacher accepted.  The General Authority made assignments for conducting, speaking, taking care of the sacrament, etc.  The preacher watched in amazement as these boys didn’t hesitate and were able to fulfill their assignments.  After the meeting, the preacher asked the General Authority how this was even possible.  He responded by telling the preacher that these boys have been doing this their whole lives in the church.

When I heard that story I realized the importance of having my boys raised knowing how to conduct, lead music, and over all just be prepared to serve when needed.  It’s a simple thing that has brought joy to our family.

As we are trying to live the gospel we can find joy in any situation.  Saints regardless of their circumstances are able to find joy.  I’m sure we all know one, if not more, of those people that are just 100% solid, regardless of sickness or other struggles.  They are joyous and make the most of whatever life throws at them.  Please don’t think for one second I’m putting myself in this category. I can whine with the best of them.

President Russell M. Nelson recounts an experience that happened to Eliza R. Snow.  Because of Missouri’s infamous extermination order, issued at the onset of the grueling winter of 1838, she and other Saints were forced to flee the state that very winter.  One evening, Eliza’s family spent the night in a small log cabin used by refugee Saints.  Much of the chinking between the logs had been extracted and burned for firewood by those who preceded them, so there were holes between the logs large enough for a cat to crawl through.  It was bitter cold, and their food was frozen solid.

That night some 80 people huddled inside that small cabin only 20 feet square.  Most sat or stood all night trying to keep warm.  Outside, a group of men spent the night gathered around a roaring fire, with some singing hymns and others roasting frozen potatoes.  Eliza recorded: “Not a complaint was heard – all were cheerful, and judging from appearances, strangers would have taken us to be pleasure excursionists rather than a band of gubernatorial exiles.”

Remember Saints are happy in every circumstance, not just when things are going well, but in every circumstance.  This is possible because of joy. 

Another example of joy that we all are familiar with is Lehi and his family. Maybe some of us can relate to their situation – children going astray, brothers that took being obnoxious to an entire different level, actually tying up their brother and beating him.  Yet with all these things going on in his family, Lehi writes one of the simplest and most profound verses of scripture on joy: 2 Nephi 2:25 Adam fell that man might be, and men are that they might have joy.

Brothers and Sisters, I testify that our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and experience joy.  We can find joy in all circumstances. It’s a gift to those trying to live the gospel and become like Christ.