Hang In There... Kirstin Udall

My first two weeks of summer have been a roller coaster ride to say the least! 

Our family lost my mother-in-law unexpectedly...we were whisked up by grief, sadness, mourning, comfort, smiles, laughs, reconnecting with family and friends... in the midst of this loss, my son Levi received his mission call...Yay! excitement, wonder,...wait did you read Mongolia?  Apprehension, accompanied with slight bouts of worry, fear, and a little more grief, to reluctantly be replaced with small smiles! .  To follow up all of this, my oldest son Jake welcomed a new baby boy into the world in the midst of a wildfire burning all around the Show Low area...worry, concern, excitement, love and joy!  Like I said, a roller coaster!

I don't even feel like I've had a chance to react to any of it.  I am still in a state of shock I guess. Why can't life just slow down for a minute? All of these changes firing off in my life at such a rapid pace has reaffirmed in me the notion that like the Lord, TIME, is a respecter of no one.  It marches on continually with or without us present. Sometimes it seems unfair, that when our life seems chaotic, time presses onward.  So what's the Lord's answer? in the scriptures, we are told to press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, and endure to the end. Surely when life gets to be overwhelming there has to be a special case, or disclaimer, right? So,I checked and reread the chapter to see if the words or scriptures that surround this idea of pressing forward possibly had some exceptions associated with it.  But interestingly enough it didn't say press forward unless you have a loved one die, nor did it say you can pause from pressing forward if your child is being sent to outer Mongolia and you need time to come to grips with it. And it didn't say press forward only on the days you feel are convenient for you, or press forward only if you feel safe. Rather it says "Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and of all men"... and then follows up with the end part where it says to endure to the end.I tend to associate a negative connotation to the word "endure".  I view it with the definition of suffering or putting up with what's there, or hanging in.  Lately, I have been telling myself, 'Hang in there, just hang in!." My thoughts reminded me of a talk by Kevin Pearson, called Feel Like You're Barely Hanging in There? It said, "Enduring to the end is a hallmark of true discipleship and is essential to eternal life, But when trials and challenges come our way, we are often told to simple "hang in there." Let me be clear: to "hang in there" is not a principle of the gospel. Enduring to the end means constantly coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him."   

So I am currently struggling to pull myself together to press forward. A step on the right path comes from a lesson learned losing my mother-in-law, Mary Lou. She was one of the kindest people I've ever met. She pressed forward through a lot of trials, but also joys.  She was an example of love.  Her passing has reminded me that life is a gift.  I have begun to try and see each day, or each "tomorrow" as a gift from God.  This has shifted my attitude somewhat and I can see the other definition of endure which is to continue on, or live. I am reminded that we are living on "borrowed time". It is God's time and therefore should be valued.  It is up to each of us to make each moment count, and find ways to share God's love in those moments.  He has blessed me with so much! And so I will press forward with a love of God, knowing that he will guide my missionary son, and be there for him when I can't.  I will press forward and love the new grandson that God has trusted to our family!  I will press forward through sorrow, with a knowledge that families can be forever... All of this pressing...enduring...living, gives me a brightness of hope.