Like a Fire is Burning by Lanise Sanders

As I sit and reflect back on my experiences I had through trek, the first line of the song, "The Spirit Of God " keeps entering my mind. "The spirit of God like a fire is burning!" If I had to sum up how I felt for those 4 days, that would be it, filled with the spirit!

I had a lot of opportunities to pray. In fact that first day during the pull, that was ALL I could do. As a Ma I was not allowed to touch the cart to help. So all I could do was pray. Pray for safety, pray for my kids to have the strength to make it up one more hill or over one more rough patch of rocks. As I prayed I could instantly feel the spirit throughout my entire body and watch my kids at moments I thought would be to hard of a spot for them to get through, just climb up and over any obstacle that was placed in front of them, with strength and zero complaining. I saw very many tender mercies given to us by our Heavenly Father.

Our family got to live a little more realistic trek experience when the wheel on our cart collapsed and we were not going to be able to continue on unless we got a new cart. When the trail boss came and checked on us, he called for the back up cart and then called for the Hancock family to come back to us since they were the family just in front of us. Our children were then instructed to swap our things from the broken cart to the replacement cart. Ma and Pa Hancock and Pa and myself were then told we needed to leave because we had a meeting with the other Ma's and Pa's we had to get to a few miles from where we had broken down. At that moment I realized just how strong of a bond I had developed with my kids. I felt horrible having to just walk away from them. I was sad! I wanted to stay there and help them. I felt like I was just abandoning my kids, hoping they could fend for themselves and get everything tied down securely so that they could get back to the group without any more trouble. I realized I am more of a control freak than I thought I was! And then I realized how many saints had to walk away from loved ones that had passed away along the way. I was blessed with the opportunity to feel a small fraction of the pain the saints that lost someone felt and all I could do was pray. I had an instant answer come to me. "They will be O.K." and the 3rd verse of How Firm a Foundation came to my mind. " Fear not I am with thee; oh be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand." I was blessed with peace. We also had a son get pretty sick right after we were reunited with our family and our new cart. We had to leave him behind with a medical team. I had that same very clear thought come to me, "He will be O.K." I cannot explain the joy I felt when I saw my son again happy and well. I was so happy to have him back and able to walk into camp with us that night.

Another moment I had wasn't anything huge but it was to me. For some time now I have felt like I was in a very deep spiritual rut. I hadn't lost faith in Heavenly Father. I knew he answered prayers but I just felt like he hadn't been answering mine. The 2nd morning as we were walking the few miles to our base camp, I was looking around at just how beautiful of an earth we have been given to enjoy and I had such an overwhelming feeling of the spirit spread throughout my entire body and it stayed with me for some time. I am so grateful for that experience. I knew right then that my Father in Heaven is very aware of me and my needs. I didn't realize until I got home and back into daily life just how loud and busy my life is. Looking back, I can now see that my prayers were being answered and I was just to distracted to notice. I learned to make time to feel the spirit and try to be more aware of the blessings I receive daily.

One last thing I would like to share. Friday was our Sunday up there at trek and part of our day was a family home evening. We were asked by our appointed big brother for the day to pick our favorite scripture and share it. I chose Ether 12:6 and it reads. "I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen. Wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." We were asked to walk in remembrance of an ancestor. I walked for my 3rd Great Grandmother Martha Binns Holgate. He family was converted in England and decided to come to America to be with the saints. She was pregnant with her 13th child and went into labor as they were waiting for the ship to come. She died giving birth to her son and was never able to make her trek to America. Her baby Seth died along the way and was buried at sea. I felt her very real presence with me throughout those 4 days. I know she was with me and was finally able to make her trek with the saints. Because of the faith she showed, my life has been blessed by being raised in the Gospel.

I am so grateful for my family! I always said I wanted a big family, now I have 14 children and I love each and every one of them. This experience has changed my life and I would do it again in a heartbeat! I am so grateful for the saints that sacrificed everything they had for the moving forward of the gospel of Jesus Christ.