I Will Never Leave Him by Suzanne Hancock

My theme song is a song by the LDS artist Cherie Call. She sings the following words of my heart:

There is a Savior, this truth I humbly know
He gave His life so that I might be allowed
Back to His arms on the day He calls me home
And I know that I will never leave Him now

I've been in danger, I've walked a sinner's way
I've felt the weight when my weary head would bow
Then Jesus came and erased my every debt
And I know that I will never leave Him now

Years ago, when I was walking a sinner's way of sorts, I took it upon myself to distance myself from the blessings of the Sacrament by not taking it. I wasn't disfellowshipped or anything of that sort. My Bishop had not instructed me not to partake of the bread and water. I just decided that I was not worthy. I kept making mistakes, many of the same mistakes from my past, and I pictured Heavenly Father shaking His head at my weakness, a disappointed Father who had given up on His daughter.

I don't recall how long this went on. I want to say it was close to a year or perhaps more. I was still attending church, but I would not participate in the emblems of the Sacrament.

One Sunday, my Bishop called me into his office. He told me he had noticed that I was not partaking of the Sacrament, and he said that I didn't need to tell him why. He only had a message for me. Then he spoke words that I will never forget. "Your Heavenly Father wants you to know that you are forgiven, and He wants you to take the Sacrament."

I literally felt a burden lifted from my shoulders, from my mind, from my heart.

I was forgiven! My Heavenly Father knew me so well that He knew how I felt, how I thought about myself, and that I would probably never go to the Bishop on my own because I saw in myself only a lost cause. So he sent His servant to me instead.

I will forever be grateful for that Bishop who heeded a prompting and gave me a message of hope. I will forever be grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who never gives up on me, no matter how many times I fall. I will forever be grateful for my Savior who paid the price so that I could feel that burden lifted.

As we embark on this Easter week, commencing today with Palm Sunday, I pray that we will know of the love of God and of Jesus Christ for us. It is an individual love, a love that understands each of us in our unique circumstances with our unique personalities. This love is cause for rejoicing, for shouting Hallelujah!, for moving forward through the grace of Father and Son.

My theme song ends with these two verses, which echo in my heart as my testimony and my vow:

He paid the highest price for me
And still He tells me I am free
But where would I ever wish to go
How could I leave the everlasting love He's shown

So as I live in this wild and wondrous world
There is no force that will ever pull me down
My love for Jesus will always be my guide
And I know that I will never leave Him now
And I know that I will never leave Him now