The Dreadful Organ and a Lesson in Love by Kami Lee

At the beginning of the year I was called to be the ward organist. When I was first extended the calling, I felt reluctant to accept it considering I had only had one semester of beginning lessons and had not played in over a year. Still, I accepted and began to prepare the songs for the next Sunday. The songs that had been chosen were not very common. Throughout the week I practiced and felt that I would be fine. 

Sunday morning came and soon it was time for the opening song. It was horrible! The tempo was dragging and the bass line I was playing on the pedals didn't seem to match up with the rest of the music. I could only imagine how red my face was. It finally ended, but then it was time for the Sacrament hymn. That wasn't as bad as the first song, but bad enough that I felt my face grow a shade darker. I then went to take my seat next to the organ until it was time for the closing song. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't bring myself to look up to the congregation for fear that I would meet someone's eye. Finally it came time to end the meeting. I began to play the closing song which most people are not familiar with. I had thought that the opening song had been terrible, but the closing song was ten times worse! It was awful! Out of the corner of my eye I swear I thought I could see the bishopric flinch a couple of times. I couldn't wait for it to be over, and it seemed that every verse was longer than the last. Eventually it came to an end. 

The closing prayer was said, and I began to play postlude while tears began to well up in my eyes. I felt like I had failed everyone that day. Then out of nowhere a pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders. It was a sister in the ward that I didn't know very well. She whispered in my ear, "Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us." As she walked away I felt the tears threatening to spill over. I was gathering up my things to leave when another sister that plays the organ stopped and began to tell me some things that I was doing wrong and how to fix those problems. At that moment I couldn't believe she would do that. Couldn't she see how humiliated I already was? After that I avoided as many people as possible.

By that night I still hadn't gotten over my embarrassment, and it soon became apparent that I was eventually going to have to face members of my ward, as I see a lot of them on a daily basis. I dreaded those following days. I did run into a handful of ward members that week, and yes, they all brought up the dreadful organ, but they all seemed to have one thing in common: encouragement. Each person I talked to encouraged me to continue on, keep practicing, and I would soon catch on. I was amazed at the responses. I then thought of the sister that had stopped me to tell me how to fix some of my problems. She wasn't trying to bring me down; she was only trying to give me some advice to help me become better.

This experience has taught me just how valuable it is to love one another. President Howard W. Hunter once said, "We need to be kinder, more gentle, more forgiving, and slower to anger. We need to love one another with the pure love of Christ." I know that it was through those individuals that my humble prayers were answered.

Wanted, Needed, and Loved by Gerald Wood

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty,” Mother Teresa.

Twenty years ago I, a young-ish man from St. David, Arizona, fell in love with a beautiful young lady from St. Johns.  A little over six months later, Tawnya and I were married. Transitioning into married life was a challenging adventure! We struggled to find our niche in our new wards and neighborhoods. After a year of managing apartments for an evil overlord, er…rather for the owner of the complex, we bought our first home. We were excited to be settling into a new ward and neighborhood with lots of great families. Much effort was exerted to make friends and forge our place, including actively fulfilling our callings, attending all activities, and inviting families over to dinner. We struggled to get by financially, but even more frustrating was our struggle to get by socially. Our efforts to reach out were simply not reciprocated. Granted, we had each other and Jaynie, and were very grateful for that, and we had some family in the valley that somewhat eased our loneliness. Still, we couldn’t seem to break into the ward’s established cliques and groups. We felt accepted, but we never felt wanted or needed. 

During this time we occasionally visited St. Johns to see Grandma and Grandpa. EVERY time we visited we were overwhelmed by the welcome we received. People would constantly ask us when we were moving up. They expressed that they would love to have us, and they took a genuine interest in me and in my family. Deep down we both knew that Mesa was not where we wanted to raise our children, so I started trying to convince Tawnya that we should move back to one of our hometowns.  St. David was out, as far as Tawnya was concerned (too small!), and she wasn’t too keen on moving back to St. Johns, either. But St. Johns was where I wanted to go.  I put a door-sized poster up on our pantry door and wrote two columns, one that listed pros and one that listed the cons of moving to St. Johns.  Over the next few months the pros side far outgrew the cons. One of the more abstract pros that influenced us most was that we felt like St. Johns WANTED us. We even felt like it needed us. The feeling of welcome that we felt from everybody we met and talked to in St. Johns was warm and inviting.  Of course we took into account things like family, the schools, and the complete lack of rush hour traffic!  Tawnya was still reluctant but agreed that if we fasted and prayed and felt good about moving then she’d be on board. 

About 16 years later we are still grateful for the answers we received to our prayers and for the leap of faith we took moving to St. Johns. We have found blessings around every corner and have loved raising our 4 children in a community full of people that we love and that love us in return. St. Johns is far from perfect, but as we travel to places across the country that are far more beautiful and wonder why we stay in St. Johns, we are always reminded that it is the people that make St. Johns home. We need them, and they need us. We feel rich because we feel wanted. I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on these experiences. It’s good to remember that I need to make others feel needed and wanted. We can do so much to build our community simply by loving those around us and making sure they know they’re needed. 

From Theodore M. Burton, “O people both within and without the Church, please realize that we are living in the last days. It is a day when love is waxing cold….Jesus Christ will soon come in power and glory. When he comes only those will be spared who have learned to love God and one another with all their heart, might, mind, and strength.” Let us not allow the love in our community to wax cold. Let us love God and one another with all our hearts, and make St. Johns a little piece of Heaven on earth.

A Mothers' Day Wish by Terry Haws

Dear Mothers in St. Johns,

I would like to wish all the mothers in our Stake a wonderful Mothers’ Day. What a special day it is! I think of all the callings I have had thus far, and being a mother is the most wonderful and most rewarding of them all.

Motherhood is the unconditional form of service. I feel very honored that my Heavenly Father entrusted me with a few of his precious children to raise. Like Forest Gump says, “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get.” I feel with each child I have raised, they are each a little different in his/her own way, and that is what makes them unique.

Life is so precious, so please never take it for granted. You have your children for such a short while, and then they are gone. Our children are our most precious gift our Father in Heaven has entrusted us with, so for this Mothers’ Day, let's us as mothers give our children that special gift of unconditional love.

I am so grateful we have a wonderful day just of our own. May this day bring you much joy and happiness with family and friends. I am grateful for being with some of our children on this Mothers’ Day.

Your Eternal friend, 

Terry Haws

I Am a Child of God by Sydney Nielsen

As a young primary girl, I had a very simple understanding of this truth. I imagined this heavenly being, that looked a bit like my own earthly father, yet was clearly not as tangible as you or me.  As I have grown, my understanding of this eternal fact has deepened.  My perception of my Heavenly Father has evolved from an abstract concept to a concrete truth.  Much of my testimony of my Heavenly Parent’s character and nature I have come to know through my earthly parents' examples.  

I am a firm believer that the trials and adversity we face in this life are meant to teach us eternal principles and mold us into the children our Heavenly Father sees us as.  Nearly two years ago, I faced a trial that shook my testimony and questioned my worth as a daughter of God.  I was in a situation in which I needed to make a decision.  On one hand, I could stay in a relationship in which I was completely alone, had little-to-no self-esteem, and had more of a roommate than an eternal companion.  On the other hand, I could move on and try and regain a life that I had completely alienated myself from while trying to fix my relationship.  At this time in my life I felt completely lost and alone.  It was then when I turned to my two greatest sources,  my Heavenly Father and my earthly family.

As I struggled with my decision, my loving Father in Heaven patiently and persistently answered each and every question I brought to Him.  The first time I received an answer to leave, I was not ready to act on it.  That didn’t stop the answer from coming when I prayed for a second time.  Yet, again I could not act.  Finally, when I asked for the third time, I was sweetly answered with the comfort and reassurance of my decision.

Throughout my struggle, my earthly parents stood by me. They mourned the loss of a daughter who had lost herself. They spent countless nights crying with me as they held me in their arms.  They had many sleepless nights and late night prayers in my behalf.  I relied upon their love and support. I relied upon their strength to carry me through.  This brings to my mind a quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in his April 2017 conference address entitled Songs Sung and Unsung. “In those moments when the melody of joy falters below our power of expression, we may have to stand silent for a time and simply listen to others, drawing strength from the splendor of the music around us.”  At that time, I felt the unconditional love my parents had for me, and I am grateful that I was born to such “goodly parents.”

As I have felt the great love of my earthly parents, I can imagine the perfect love that Heavenly Father has for me.  I remember a night when my heart felt so broken and heavy all I could do was lay in bed and pray to my Heavenly Father.  In the quiet darkness of the night, as I struggled with feelings of sadness and inadequacy, I imagined myself sitting at my Heavenly Father’s feet looking up at him.  In my mind I whispered to Him, “I miss you.” In that moment, I felt a great warmth rush through my body and the words, “I miss you too” entered my mind. I cannot deny the perfect love Heavenly Father has for us.

It is through these experiences that I know without a doubt that I am a daughter of God.  I know He knows us all by name and that He loves us more than we can even comprehend.  I know that we can turn to Him at any time, and He will be there.  I know that we were born to our earthly parents for a purpose, and it wasn’t just by chance.  I am so grateful for my parents and their example to me.  I am even more grateful to my Heavenly Father for His love and patience that He freely gives to His children.