Wanted, Needed, and Loved by Gerald Wood

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty,” Mother Teresa.

Twenty years ago I, a young-ish man from St. David, Arizona, fell in love with a beautiful young lady from St. Johns.  A little over six months later, Tawnya and I were married. Transitioning into married life was a challenging adventure! We struggled to find our niche in our new wards and neighborhoods. After a year of managing apartments for an evil overlord, er…rather for the owner of the complex, we bought our first home. We were excited to be settling into a new ward and neighborhood with lots of great families. Much effort was exerted to make friends and forge our place, including actively fulfilling our callings, attending all activities, and inviting families over to dinner. We struggled to get by financially, but even more frustrating was our struggle to get by socially. Our efforts to reach out were simply not reciprocated. Granted, we had each other and Jaynie, and were very grateful for that, and we had some family in the valley that somewhat eased our loneliness. Still, we couldn’t seem to break into the ward’s established cliques and groups. We felt accepted, but we never felt wanted or needed. 

During this time we occasionally visited St. Johns to see Grandma and Grandpa. EVERY time we visited we were overwhelmed by the welcome we received. People would constantly ask us when we were moving up. They expressed that they would love to have us, and they took a genuine interest in me and in my family. Deep down we both knew that Mesa was not where we wanted to raise our children, so I started trying to convince Tawnya that we should move back to one of our hometowns.  St. David was out, as far as Tawnya was concerned (too small!), and she wasn’t too keen on moving back to St. Johns, either. But St. Johns was where I wanted to go.  I put a door-sized poster up on our pantry door and wrote two columns, one that listed pros and one that listed the cons of moving to St. Johns.  Over the next few months the pros side far outgrew the cons. One of the more abstract pros that influenced us most was that we felt like St. Johns WANTED us. We even felt like it needed us. The feeling of welcome that we felt from everybody we met and talked to in St. Johns was warm and inviting.  Of course we took into account things like family, the schools, and the complete lack of rush hour traffic!  Tawnya was still reluctant but agreed that if we fasted and prayed and felt good about moving then she’d be on board. 

About 16 years later we are still grateful for the answers we received to our prayers and for the leap of faith we took moving to St. Johns. We have found blessings around every corner and have loved raising our 4 children in a community full of people that we love and that love us in return. St. Johns is far from perfect, but as we travel to places across the country that are far more beautiful and wonder why we stay in St. Johns, we are always reminded that it is the people that make St. Johns home. We need them, and they need us. We feel rich because we feel wanted. I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on these experiences. It’s good to remember that I need to make others feel needed and wanted. We can do so much to build our community simply by loving those around us and making sure they know they’re needed. 

From Theodore M. Burton, “O people both within and without the Church, please realize that we are living in the last days. It is a day when love is waxing cold….Jesus Christ will soon come in power and glory. When he comes only those will be spared who have learned to love God and one another with all their heart, might, mind, and strength.” Let us not allow the love in our community to wax cold. Let us love God and one another with all our hearts, and make St. Johns a little piece of Heaven on earth.