Looking Out, Not In by Natalie Hollembeak

I was asked in February if I would post on this blog, and I have been at a loss as to what I could share. At first I was tempted to share something that was, at minimal, “surface information” that wouldn’t require much time, thought, or feeling.  But, I’ve come to realize that I needed to dig deeper and share more. Forgive me as I ramble for a bit, but I think it is important for you to understand how I came to live in St. Johns.

I grew up as a farm girl in rural southeast Idaho. I am the oldest of eight children. I have four brothers and three sisters. My parents were high school sweethearts and married after my dad served a mission in Brazil. My family’s circumstances were humble as my father worked very hard to make ends meet running the farm he had been raised on and then had bought from his parents before they left on a mission to Ireland.  The house on the family farm that my dad grew up in was purchased along with the farm, and that is where I was raised. My parents loved us, cared for us, and provided for us in those humble circumstances, and we never felt like we were going without. We were taught to work at a young age and spent many hot, long summer days pulling weeds out of the large fields of green beans (raised for Del Monte) and wheat, rolling bales of hay, and helping with the livestock.

Both sets of grandparents lived within ten minutes from us, and we were lucky enough to have several cousins that lived within an hour from us.

The high school I attended, West Side High, consisted of students from five small communities along the mountains on the west side of the valley. There were 38 in my graduating class. I loved growing up in a small community. I felt safe and rooted. In saying that, I know that I took growing up in a small community for granted and didn’t fully appreciate it. After graduating from high school, I attended Utah State University and graduated from there in 1995. I lived in Draper, Utah and completed my student teaching in different schools in the Salt Lake Valley. After serving in the Nebraska, Omaha, Winter Quarters mission, I taught school for a year in Orem, Utah and then moved to Seattle, Washington where I experienced a very eye-opening two years of adventure.

Wanting to get closer to home and family, I decided to apply for jobs in Logan, Utah. As I was trying to get situated there, I was asked to be my Grandpa Bingham’s traveling partner as he traveled to St. Johns, Arizona for my cousin’s (Jason Bingham) mission farewell. This was my first introduction to St. Johns. While visiting, my Aunt Laurine (Bingham) started working on me, encouraging me to move down to St. Johns, live with them, and teach out on the reservation in Sanders, where she was currently teaching. I went back to Idaho, thought about it for a week, was offered a job over the telephone to teach 6^th grade social studies at Sanders Middle School, and decided to do it. I saw it as another adventure that I might as well take advantage of, being single. I enjoyed my first year in St. Johns. Teaching out of town didn’t help me in getting to know people in town. I know of some people who thought that I was crazy as a young, single woman to be living in St. Johns…but to be honest, I had been in the singles scene for nine years and was tired of it.  After the first year of teaching, I again applied for teaching jobs in southeast Idaho to be closer to my family, deciding that if it were meant to be, it would work out. I didn’t get offered a job in Idaho and felt that it meant that I needed to be in St. Johns. I spent the summer in Idaho with my family and returned to St. Johns the first weekend of August 2001. The night that I returned, I got a phone call from Stacey Farr, inviting me to dinner the next evening and asked me if it would be okay if she also invited someone she wanted to introduce me to, Bryan Hollembeak. I agreed, although very hesitantly, as I had many blind dates.

I felt like we were under the limelight that Sunday evening as we had dinner with the Farrs, the Binghams, and Quinn and Michelle Ashton. I was ready to run, but thanks to a very patient, loving, and wise Aunt Laurine, I gave it a chance, AND the rest is history. Bryan and I got married that December, and I became an instant mom. I knew being a stepmom wasn’t going to be easy, but I wasn’t prepared for how hard it was going to be, and it threw me flat on my back. Being a naturally quiet and reserved person, it was easy to turn inward with this new challenge in my life instead of reaching outward. I often wondered what I was doing here so far away from my family that could love me through this new chapter in my life. Down the road, I have sometimes questioned if this is the right place for me, but I have come to realize that the hand of Providence brought me here and provided a wonderful man and other people to love me and teach me. I have made a life with Bryan, and we have added to our family. As I have lived here and learned to extend myself, I have found people in this wonderful town that love my kids, who have taught me how to serve, and have made me feel at home. I am so amazed with how much emphasis is placed on our youth and how our town rallies around one another in times of need. As I continue to learn to extend myself to others, I am coming to realize that our Savior wants us to do the same towards Him. He wants us to look to Him to help us in our trials, to serve others through Him, and to offer the healing balm of love to our fellow men. I am grateful for His love and patience that I have felt through you, the people of St. Johns. Thank you!