There was a time when God helped me change... diapers. It sounds funny, I know, but it's true.
It was a time in our lives when money was tight, and just when we thought it couldn't get any worse it did. My husband was working tirelessly to keep our struggling business afloat. We had five kids under eight years old, two in diapers and one just potty trained, and I was consumed by the daily challenge of keeping all my children fed, clothed, and happy.
I was drowning in worries and problems too big for me to solve, but I was tough. I could handle this. Everyone has tough times. We would get through this. All I needed to do was keep on keeping on. Then there came a day when we were trying to decide which bills NOT to pay, and we were faced with the question...food or diapers? I'd hit my limit! It seemed clear what the choice should be, we all have to eat after all, but I couldn't see how to do without diapers. You have to have diapers! You can't just not have diapers! I had been so good at making it work, so good at getting by. I was trying so hard, I was doing all that I could. Didn't God care? What more did He want from me? What more could He ask of me? ... "I WANT YOU TO ASK ME FOR HELP" Here I was, beyond my limit, and now, I was finally broken enough to ask him. "Father, please help!..." I prayed more sincerely than I had in a long time.
My prayer was answered, but not in a way that I would have expected. Not in the way I would have liked.
I can't really describe the feelings that I was experiencing after that prayer... I felt calm, I felt reassured that it would all work out, I just knew it would be ok, but most of all I felt like Nephi from the Book of Mormon, I felt, "led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do."
First there was a strange interest in wool. Yes. The fabric, the yarn, I was fascinated. I was obsessed. I read everything I could find about wool. Who knew that wool had such amazing properties? Then I learned that people were using wool as a cover for cloth diapers. This sparked an idea. I had done research before on cloth diapering, enough to know that I couldn't afford the cost of the set up. I had disregarded the idea as too expensive, but maybe there was another way.
I took some hoarded cash, I think I literally had $ 7, and headed to our local thrift store. They had an amazing sale on sweaters 4 for $1 or something like that. (I think it must have been the end of sweater season.) So, I gathered up all of the wool sweaters I could find, 4 or 5. I also found that an entire trash bag of old stained and torn t-shirts was just $5, this could be the absorbent lining, so I picked up one of those. As I was checking out I talked to the cashier about it, and told her my plan. She looked at me like I was crazy, but it wasn't the first time I'd come in to buy things with entirely another purpose in mind. They had begun to expect the unexpected from me at the thrift store, and would always ask me what my plan for my purchase was, like buying skirts to make pillows, men's shirts to make little girl dresses, dresses to make aprons, and jeans to make quilts. The cashier told me that they couldn't sell many of the wool items that came in because they couldn't be laundered. She offered to give me those free of charge! I was amazed. So now I had an entire bag of old wool clothing, and along with the bag of t-shirts, I had enough to make a start.
The small miracles continued as the other things that I needed were conveniently provided for me. Buttons, elastic, thread, from a lady who was cleaning out her sewing room, and even lanolin (which is pretty expensive and required to make the wool waterproof) from a friend who was done having babies... It took some trial and error to get the pattern right, but in just a few days I had an entire diapering system set up for my little ones for less than $10.
That day God really did help me. I don't know if everyone would see this as a miracle, but it was to me. I feel like God inspired my curiosity, He led me to the idea, and the materials, He took me by the hand and led me through. This experience gave me hope. It showed me what I can do, and even better, what I can do with God. It taught me that God really does want to help us, but he won't always just deliver a package containing the solution. And, It proved to me that God really can help me change, even if what I need to change is diapers.
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