What Am I Going to Do? by Benjamin Brown

I just got back from the Saturday evening session of our Stake Conference where the theme was clearly focused on missionary work. Memories of my mission have been flooding my mind as they often do when I am reminded of my duties to share the gospel. I remember how excited and focused I was for those two years. I remember telling myself, as a missionary, that when I got home from my mission, I would be the best member missionary that every lived, and not be like so and so who was a disappointing ward mission leader, or so and so in my area that was too busy working to come out and teach with us. Fast forward almost ten years and guess what, I’ve become the member I never wanted to be: a little too comfortable, a tad too polite, and a whole lot more scared to speak up than I used to be. The world has a way of creeping into our lives and distracting us from important things. If you were not present at the meeting tonight, President Lee challenged each of us to answer this question: “What am I going to do?” regarding missionary work. I would like to share what I am going to do.

Missionaries keep a record of the work in their area. This record is appropriately called an “Area Book”. When I served, the Area Book was a three-ringed binder that was passed from companionship to companionship ensuring information about the investigators, less active members, potential investigators, and even former, or “dropped” investigators, was not lost. When I arrived to a new area I would open the Area Book and study the active or progressing investigators and I could know very quickly what we were up against. It is one of the best tools that missionaries have. Today, missionaries carry this record with them everywhere they go on their iPads. They are always updating and improving the record to help them receive inspiration about who and what to teach.

When I got home from my mission, I felt inspired to create an Area Book for my post-mission life. I decided to organize it by area, and I filled it with tabs mimicking the way we organized it in the field with progressing investigators, potentials, dropped, less-actives, and other important contacts. I started with my first area: Provo, Utah. I wrote down on a paper a list of all the non-members I could possibly think of that I knew in that area. The list was short, but it was a start. I gave each person their own page. I included their contact information, their back ground, how I met them, and what their interest level was. I left plenty of space on the page for future updates. I determined to update the information as they progressed. For each “potential investigator” I made check-box items, or mile stones so to speak to help me know how to share the gospel. For instance, I would ask myself a series of questions: “Do they even know you are a member of the church?” (implying that if they don’t, then it is time to find a way to let them know). Or, “have you ever asked them about their religion?”. Typically, the questions progressed in way that would allow for the investigator to learn more and more but also required more involved actions on my part. “Have you invited them to an FHE activity? Have you invited then to a baptism or activity at the church? Have you invited them to read a pamphlet? Etc…” Ultimately, the idea was to set mini-milestone goals to help me know what to do next. The most important part I think, was that in writing down and keeping track of the work, I would open myself up to inspiration. 

I made my Area Book and committed to keep it updated. I felt how awesome it would be, if after living maybe 50 years of updating the book diligently, how precious it would feel. I had a vision in my mind of me laying it at the feet of my Savior and saying, “Lord, I tried. Here are my efforts. I really tried.”

Like I said, the world has a way of creeping its way into our lives, slowly pushing important things aside. I kept up with my Area Book for a few years. I took it with me to Washington D.C., where I saw some real success in using the book. It kept me focused. Then I took it back to Provo, then to Florida, and then Phoenix. During one of our moves it was packed in a box, and I lost track of it for a while. I fell out of habit of keeping it updated. I fell out of practice, and focus. It’s been years since I have updated anything. Years since I added new names or pondered how I might best make the next step with a contact. Years since I pondered old or dropped investigators. Who knows how many who were not interested then, may be now. President Lee, I know what I am going to do; I knew the moment you asked us from the pulpit. I am going to find my personal area book, open it up, and begin again. Right here in my favorite area so far on my “mission.”

My Special Trek by Heather Arave

I know there are always special experiences that happen on trek, and I wanted to share a few of mine. I was asked to go as an adult participant, and I was nervous because I am quite a shy person until I feel comfortable. I was so nervous about being around teenagers...even though I have 2 of my own. 13 all at once kind of scared me. I wasn't really sure what my role was or what was expected of me. This was the first trek experience ever for me and my family, so I had no idea what to expect at all. I went with a prayer in my heart that I would be able to open up to the kids and be able to interact with them. I also prayed that I would be able to have some special experiences and be able to connect with my ancestors.

The first day was pretty hard and tiring. We hiked 12 miles that day with no food, and I was so impressed that there were not any complaints from kids about how hungry they were. They just kept on going and doing what they were asked. I was so impressed at how everyone worked together to help each other through rough spots on the trail. It made me incredibly happy to see both the boys and girls run back to help others behind them that needed help over the rocky ridges or steep hills. It filled my heart so much to see so much love and kindness in these teenagers. Even though they were hungry and tired, they thought of others.

Later that night, after dark and a long rest, we set off again. We were told the boys would be leaving to go to on the "Mormon Battalion" and from the time we started we were not allowed to talk. It needed to be silent. The boys started off with us. Jaynie and I were in the yoke and the others were pushing. Once we got to a certain point, the boys were then to let go and not help anymore. I could tell the instant the boys let go; it got so much harder to push. The boys walked alongside of us, but they could not talk. I knew they were silently cheering us on and wanting to help. We pushed and pulled with all our might for, I don't know how long, but it felt like forever. At one point it felt like it was never going to end. As soon as the boys were given the okay to help, 2 of them jumped in the yoke and took over for Jaynie and I. What a relief it was to have the help of those strong boys again!

As I thought about this experience the next day, I can compare it to when we have the Savior by our side, life is hard, but definitely easier. If we lose sight of where we are going and let go of the Savior, then life gets really hard. The Savior is always waiting by the side silently cheering us on and wanting to help. As soon as we give the Savior the okay that we want him back in our lives, He will jump in and help. 

As I thought about my ancestor while walking, I thought about how strong she was and how hard it would have been to do this with little kids and pregnant, like she was. She even lost 3 kids to death along the way and her husband shortly after reaching Salt Lake. She had 6 kids like I do, and I can't possibly imagine losing any of them. I would like to think I would have had the testimony and strength to be like my ancestors. What a great deal of faith they had to have! I am so grateful for my ancestors and for their burning testimony to follow the Prophet, even if it meant being disowned by their families and being persecuted by others, to bring this Gospel into my family. I am grateful I was able to go on trek and for the amazing experience it was for me. To be able to learn of my ancestors and to feel a very very small fraction of what they went through will forever be etched in my mind.

Like a Fire is Burning by Lanise Sanders

As I sit and reflect back on my experiences I had through trek, the first line of the song, "The Spirit Of God " keeps entering my mind. "The spirit of God like a fire is burning!" If I had to sum up how I felt for those 4 days, that would be it, filled with the spirit!

I had a lot of opportunities to pray. In fact that first day during the pull, that was ALL I could do. As a Ma I was not allowed to touch the cart to help. So all I could do was pray. Pray for safety, pray for my kids to have the strength to make it up one more hill or over one more rough patch of rocks. As I prayed I could instantly feel the spirit throughout my entire body and watch my kids at moments I thought would be to hard of a spot for them to get through, just climb up and over any obstacle that was placed in front of them, with strength and zero complaining. I saw very many tender mercies given to us by our Heavenly Father.

Our family got to live a little more realistic trek experience when the wheel on our cart collapsed and we were not going to be able to continue on unless we got a new cart. When the trail boss came and checked on us, he called for the back up cart and then called for the Hancock family to come back to us since they were the family just in front of us. Our children were then instructed to swap our things from the broken cart to the replacement cart. Ma and Pa Hancock and Pa and myself were then told we needed to leave because we had a meeting with the other Ma's and Pa's we had to get to a few miles from where we had broken down. At that moment I realized just how strong of a bond I had developed with my kids. I felt horrible having to just walk away from them. I was sad! I wanted to stay there and help them. I felt like I was just abandoning my kids, hoping they could fend for themselves and get everything tied down securely so that they could get back to the group without any more trouble. I realized I am more of a control freak than I thought I was! And then I realized how many saints had to walk away from loved ones that had passed away along the way. I was blessed with the opportunity to feel a small fraction of the pain the saints that lost someone felt and all I could do was pray. I had an instant answer come to me. "They will be O.K." and the 3rd verse of How Firm a Foundation came to my mind. " Fear not I am with thee; oh be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand." I was blessed with peace. We also had a son get pretty sick right after we were reunited with our family and our new cart. We had to leave him behind with a medical team. I had that same very clear thought come to me, "He will be O.K." I cannot explain the joy I felt when I saw my son again happy and well. I was so happy to have him back and able to walk into camp with us that night.

Another moment I had wasn't anything huge but it was to me. For some time now I have felt like I was in a very deep spiritual rut. I hadn't lost faith in Heavenly Father. I knew he answered prayers but I just felt like he hadn't been answering mine. The 2nd morning as we were walking the few miles to our base camp, I was looking around at just how beautiful of an earth we have been given to enjoy and I had such an overwhelming feeling of the spirit spread throughout my entire body and it stayed with me for some time. I am so grateful for that experience. I knew right then that my Father in Heaven is very aware of me and my needs. I didn't realize until I got home and back into daily life just how loud and busy my life is. Looking back, I can now see that my prayers were being answered and I was just to distracted to notice. I learned to make time to feel the spirit and try to be more aware of the blessings I receive daily.

One last thing I would like to share. Friday was our Sunday up there at trek and part of our day was a family home evening. We were asked by our appointed big brother for the day to pick our favorite scripture and share it. I chose Ether 12:6 and it reads. "I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen. Wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." We were asked to walk in remembrance of an ancestor. I walked for my 3rd Great Grandmother Martha Binns Holgate. He family was converted in England and decided to come to America to be with the saints. She was pregnant with her 13th child and went into labor as they were waiting for the ship to come. She died giving birth to her son and was never able to make her trek to America. Her baby Seth died along the way and was buried at sea. I felt her very real presence with me throughout those 4 days. I know she was with me and was finally able to make her trek with the saints. Because of the faith she showed, my life has been blessed by being raised in the Gospel.

I am so grateful for my family! I always said I wanted a big family, now I have 14 children and I love each and every one of them. This experience has changed my life and I would do it again in a heartbeat! I am so grateful for the saints that sacrificed everything they had for the moving forward of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

By Small and Simple Things by Eric Broadbent

We are told that the Book of Mormon was written for our day, and we can find guidance to help us solve our everyday problems. When Charlotte and I were raising our children, we worked hard to have family prayer and scripture study each day. It seemed relatively easy to make sure we had family prayer each day because we held it at a set time each day, so it went fairly smoothly. Daily family scripture study was not quite as easily accomplished. We found that as long as nothing interrupted our daily schedule, it went well. There are, however, many things that came up to challenge our daily schedule. Things like summer vacation, spring break, illness, family coming to visit us for a few days, and on and on.

When we would get off schedule and neglect scripture study for a time, we would notice that our children were not quite as obedient, we did not get other things done like we wanted, the Spirit was not as evident in our home, and the fruits of the Spirit were not as abundant in our lives. When we would see these things going on, more than once we took stock of our lives and realized that what we lacked was consistent scripture study as a family. We would re-order our lives, start reading scriptures on a daily basis again, and the Spirit would return. Children were more obedient, we felt a greater measure of peace in our home, and the fruits of the Spirit returned to our lives once again.

Alma, in speaking to his son Helaman in Alma 37:6, said, "...but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass..." Reading the scriptures in the home may truly seem like a small and simple thing, but by it great things were truly brought to pass in our home.

In the April 2017 General Conference President Monson, speaking in the Sunday Morning session, said, "My dear associates in the work of the Lord, I implore each of us to prayerfully study and ponder the Book of Mormon each day. As we do so, we will be in a position to hear the voice of the Spirit, to resist temptation, to overcome doubt and fear, and to receive heaven’s help in our lives. I so testify with all my heart in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.” I testify with President Monson that daily scripture study as families in our homes truly does invite the Spirit into our homes and with it come the fruits that the Spirit brings as stated in Galatians 5:22: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith.”

May we all use this small and simple thing to allow the Lord to bring the fruits of the Spirit into our homes and bless our lives in this troubled world.

The Dreadful Organ and a Lesson in Love by Kami Lee

At the beginning of the year I was called to be the ward organist. When I was first extended the calling, I felt reluctant to accept it considering I had only had one semester of beginning lessons and had not played in over a year. Still, I accepted and began to prepare the songs for the next Sunday. The songs that had been chosen were not very common. Throughout the week I practiced and felt that I would be fine. 

Sunday morning came and soon it was time for the opening song. It was horrible! The tempo was dragging and the bass line I was playing on the pedals didn't seem to match up with the rest of the music. I could only imagine how red my face was. It finally ended, but then it was time for the Sacrament hymn. That wasn't as bad as the first song, but bad enough that I felt my face grow a shade darker. I then went to take my seat next to the organ until it was time for the closing song. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't bring myself to look up to the congregation for fear that I would meet someone's eye. Finally it came time to end the meeting. I began to play the closing song which most people are not familiar with. I had thought that the opening song had been terrible, but the closing song was ten times worse! It was awful! Out of the corner of my eye I swear I thought I could see the bishopric flinch a couple of times. I couldn't wait for it to be over, and it seemed that every verse was longer than the last. Eventually it came to an end. 

The closing prayer was said, and I began to play postlude while tears began to well up in my eyes. I felt like I had failed everyone that day. Then out of nowhere a pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders. It was a sister in the ward that I didn't know very well. She whispered in my ear, "Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us." As she walked away I felt the tears threatening to spill over. I was gathering up my things to leave when another sister that plays the organ stopped and began to tell me some things that I was doing wrong and how to fix those problems. At that moment I couldn't believe she would do that. Couldn't she see how humiliated I already was? After that I avoided as many people as possible.

By that night I still hadn't gotten over my embarrassment, and it soon became apparent that I was eventually going to have to face members of my ward, as I see a lot of them on a daily basis. I dreaded those following days. I did run into a handful of ward members that week, and yes, they all brought up the dreadful organ, but they all seemed to have one thing in common: encouragement. Each person I talked to encouraged me to continue on, keep practicing, and I would soon catch on. I was amazed at the responses. I then thought of the sister that had stopped me to tell me how to fix some of my problems. She wasn't trying to bring me down; she was only trying to give me some advice to help me become better.

This experience has taught me just how valuable it is to love one another. President Howard W. Hunter once said, "We need to be kinder, more gentle, more forgiving, and slower to anger. We need to love one another with the pure love of Christ." I know that it was through those individuals that my humble prayers were answered.

Wanted, Needed, and Loved by Gerald Wood

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty,” Mother Teresa.

Twenty years ago I, a young-ish man from St. David, Arizona, fell in love with a beautiful young lady from St. Johns.  A little over six months later, Tawnya and I were married. Transitioning into married life was a challenging adventure! We struggled to find our niche in our new wards and neighborhoods. After a year of managing apartments for an evil overlord, er…rather for the owner of the complex, we bought our first home. We were excited to be settling into a new ward and neighborhood with lots of great families. Much effort was exerted to make friends and forge our place, including actively fulfilling our callings, attending all activities, and inviting families over to dinner. We struggled to get by financially, but even more frustrating was our struggle to get by socially. Our efforts to reach out were simply not reciprocated. Granted, we had each other and Jaynie, and were very grateful for that, and we had some family in the valley that somewhat eased our loneliness. Still, we couldn’t seem to break into the ward’s established cliques and groups. We felt accepted, but we never felt wanted or needed. 

During this time we occasionally visited St. Johns to see Grandma and Grandpa. EVERY time we visited we were overwhelmed by the welcome we received. People would constantly ask us when we were moving up. They expressed that they would love to have us, and they took a genuine interest in me and in my family. Deep down we both knew that Mesa was not where we wanted to raise our children, so I started trying to convince Tawnya that we should move back to one of our hometowns.  St. David was out, as far as Tawnya was concerned (too small!), and she wasn’t too keen on moving back to St. Johns, either. But St. Johns was where I wanted to go.  I put a door-sized poster up on our pantry door and wrote two columns, one that listed pros and one that listed the cons of moving to St. Johns.  Over the next few months the pros side far outgrew the cons. One of the more abstract pros that influenced us most was that we felt like St. Johns WANTED us. We even felt like it needed us. The feeling of welcome that we felt from everybody we met and talked to in St. Johns was warm and inviting.  Of course we took into account things like family, the schools, and the complete lack of rush hour traffic!  Tawnya was still reluctant but agreed that if we fasted and prayed and felt good about moving then she’d be on board. 

About 16 years later we are still grateful for the answers we received to our prayers and for the leap of faith we took moving to St. Johns. We have found blessings around every corner and have loved raising our 4 children in a community full of people that we love and that love us in return. St. Johns is far from perfect, but as we travel to places across the country that are far more beautiful and wonder why we stay in St. Johns, we are always reminded that it is the people that make St. Johns home. We need them, and they need us. We feel rich because we feel wanted. I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on these experiences. It’s good to remember that I need to make others feel needed and wanted. We can do so much to build our community simply by loving those around us and making sure they know they’re needed. 

From Theodore M. Burton, “O people both within and without the Church, please realize that we are living in the last days. It is a day when love is waxing cold….Jesus Christ will soon come in power and glory. When he comes only those will be spared who have learned to love God and one another with all their heart, might, mind, and strength.” Let us not allow the love in our community to wax cold. Let us love God and one another with all our hearts, and make St. Johns a little piece of Heaven on earth.

A Mothers' Day Wish by Terry Haws

Dear Mothers in St. Johns,

I would like to wish all the mothers in our Stake a wonderful Mothers’ Day. What a special day it is! I think of all the callings I have had thus far, and being a mother is the most wonderful and most rewarding of them all.

Motherhood is the unconditional form of service. I feel very honored that my Heavenly Father entrusted me with a few of his precious children to raise. Like Forest Gump says, “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get.” I feel with each child I have raised, they are each a little different in his/her own way, and that is what makes them unique.

Life is so precious, so please never take it for granted. You have your children for such a short while, and then they are gone. Our children are our most precious gift our Father in Heaven has entrusted us with, so for this Mothers’ Day, let's us as mothers give our children that special gift of unconditional love.

I am so grateful we have a wonderful day just of our own. May this day bring you much joy and happiness with family and friends. I am grateful for being with some of our children on this Mothers’ Day.

Your Eternal friend, 

Terry Haws